​Fears of Transgender

​     ​Let me take a minute to say this is my personal opinion on fears of transgender individuals.  I'm not a professional writer or therapist just someone sharing my feelings.  Depending on how someone knows a transgender person will typically create some feelings about how they deal with the news.  Most of the time people that have no relationship to the transgendered person will usually ignore and move on to there own personal life.  The biggest problem in this life generally comes from immediate family.  The issues range support to disowning you from the family.  Most of us trans people have big fears about our families reaction to our news that we are trans.  We fear loosing people we love because of choosing to live true to ourselves.  Most of us have spent many days in turmoil trying to figure out why we feel the way we do.  While each of us have different issues in the regards to our current situation of transition most just want the same love and respect that everyone else wants out of life.  Dealing with friends will always bring out good and bad as great friends will be happy for you and others will leave because of fear.  The fears of finding out about someone they know being trans creates many different issues.  How will the person change and what to expect varies between each and everyone of us.  A good example would be I love wearing dresses and skirts especially with petticoats.  Wearing clothing maybe not as casual like a cis woman would generally wear will often scare people.  Some may not really dress much different than what they did prior to coming out.  Choosing to wear make-up or grow out there hair maybe an option for some.  To what level we all change also varies as some may change their lives completely some very little.

     Lets take a second and look at a few of the fears that surround us.  Probably the biggest is the fear of everyone else's reaction.  The fear may be what bathroom will they use.  Who are they going to be in a relationship with in the future.  Will they be able to have a job.  What about housing will they get kicked out.  What about safety of people not understanding and possibly doing bad things.  There can be many different issues that come from being transgender.    Let me start with safety as I try to be very cautious about where I go and when.  I personally haven't ever really felt threatened by anyone other than just general fears.  You really should always pay attention to your surroundings for anything that seems inappropriate.  I had a gun put to my head when I was working a convenience store some thirty years ago.  I wasn't showing anyone I was transgender at the time  just working as a young American.  One never knows the troubles life will deal us and so being cautious should always be followed.  When it comes to the job this will very depending on the laws and company policies in the area in which one is working.  The global workforce is realizing that the transgender workers will put forth a great effort given the opportunity.  In this day and age any more companies offer gender protections in the company manuals.  The problems on the job usually arise out of fear or maybe someone trying to bully.  From my own experience coming out at work the name change was mild issue, but the bathroom issue created a little more of an issue out of fear.  I came out in November 2017 been out a little over thee months and most of these fears seem like they are disappearing.  I've had no issues other than just reminding people to use the correct gender and name.  When it comes to housing you will have to find out all the current laws.  There is no need for people to freak out over a transgender tenant or home owner living on there street.  I've know several people who are transgender and I would say most of us want the safe quiet neighborhood like everyone else.  There is a lot of fears associated with children that live on the street, and unfounded fear which should be no less or more than any other person a parent doesn't know.  It is not the intent of a transgender person to want to attack children.  I know on a personal level trouble of any kind is not what I'm seeking.  On fears of bathrooms while all the debates rage on please understand that anyone that is targeting someone in a bathroom should be reported, but understand transgender people don't want the attention in the bathroom.  Please take a look at my view on bathrooms on my bathrooms page.  When it comes to locker rooms as long as a person has identified as transgender and is appropriately acting right there should be no problems.    Parents are often concerned about there kids and the impact on there kid given the opportunity they will adjust just as most of us have throughout our lives.  Remember at work the last time your company or customer changed something you liked and you had no option but to adjust.  Kids adjust easier than adults your kids will be fine.  How about friends what are the big issues.  I would guess one is they thought they knew you and your changing.  If someone sees me hanging out with a transgender person what will they think.  Really if you like/love your friend should this really be an issue.  Sure on some level the relationship may change on your part or your friends part.  Maybe you used to hunt together and after a transition hunting maybe something that one no longer wants anymore.  If you enjoyed conversation with a friend prior to transition then you'll probably enjoy conversations in the future.  We all adjust you know marriage, kids, jobs, and hobbies have caused us to change many things throughout our lives.  This is really nothing new, so please just give your friend a chance at least before you decide you can't be friends any longer.  Families probably create the biggest problem I know from my own personal experiences.  Most of the time you've spent your entire life with them.  Each and every family will probably have good times and bad times from the lives of each individual involved in the family.  I can only really speak from my own experience and say that I've always had the utmost respect and love for my family.  This was probably the biggest reason it took me so long to acknowledge being Transgender.  My parents taught me a lot in life and have always been there for me and for this I'm truly blessed.  I realize the fears they have with wondering what everyone else will think about there son becoming a daughter, but I do believe that loving your kids should never be put in jeopardy because of what the neighbors, friends, and family might think.  Religion can also play a big part especially when it comes to parents because there beliefs.  Reality is that beliefs due to religion will probably vary at some level.  Accepting oneself will ultimately change the views that one has on life.  It may or may not really change who a person is on the inside or outside.  I've never liked getting in trouble at any level and have no desire to get in trouble since my transition.  My family really never shared a lot openly about problems in life with each other.  This defiantly led to me hiding this from my parents and family.  I know that many parents feel like there loosing a son or daughter when there child acknowledges there transition.  I can understand that there should be some adjustment time for a parent to fully comprehend what is really going on, but the fact a child could be open about this change in life should really encourage the parents to look at how hard one looks into transitioning before it happens.  I guess from my point of view I'm still alive, healthy, and extremely happy which would seem like the one thing a parent would desire for there child.  Life is short loosing a loved one in our short time on earth because of fear is really a shame.  Yes I prefer to be acknowledged as she her hers as a daughter instead of a son my name is Kimberly regardless of what anyone thinks.  Having fears each time there is an event in life will be easier on everyone when all realize that regardless love and respect of family should prevail.  I can't completely expect everyone to understand what it really means to be different with the gender issue.  It's not something anyone else will fully ever understand because it's a deep seeded feeling from the brain.  Yes I realize there will be someone at some point that will be hateful, hurtful, downright mean, or laugh because of lack of knowledge.  This is already a big burden to bare it's awesome when you have extra support from your family and friends as you deal with cruelty from some people in the world.  It's extremely important that if you don't understand gender to get knowledge and ask questions.  Your lack of understanding doesn't mean that you should be attacking someone who has acknowledged there true self.  Don't believe everything the media or politicians throw out there using scare tactics.  It's sad they feel the need to attack someone  for living true to their self.    Most transgender people really want the same things in life as you health, happiness, family, and friends.  So please try and understand this is not a choice to be transgender the only choice is acknowledging and living as your true self or not.  Don't let the fear destroy a relationship with someone you love.