Just Why?

June 13,2018


To start off with why, was I born a couple months early.  Perhaps I was eager to get out in this crazy life.  Maybe my mothers body was tired of lugging me around.  Just why did my blood father give me up never to be heard from.  Maybe the better question is just why was I a lucky enough kid and received a father that adopted me, raised me, loved me and supported me throughout my life.  Could I be any luckier than to have a mother that gave me great opportunity to learn and grow as a child.  Just why was I brought up in the catholic church.  Just why was I lucky enough to have totally awesome grandparents.  Just why did I get lucky enough to have a couple sisters and a brother.  Just why did I get spanked and grounded for breaking rules.   Just why did I get praised and rewarded for the good things I did. Just why did every dog I own love me.  Just why did I start feeling like a girl.  Just why did I choose to hide the fact I was a girl inside.  Just why in my life did I attend a prep seminary considering being a priest.  Just why is my ability to read and retain so poor.  Just why am I creative and very capable of building and working hands on.  Just why did I never sign up for the military.  Just why did I enjoy racing from early on in life.  Just why did I make good choices and stay away from drugs.  Just why did I work hard enough to become a closing manager at my first real job.  Just why did college cost so much I couldn’t afford it.  Just why did my first marriage end in divorce.  Just why did I end up with a problem child that has grown and become a great mother to my grandchild.  Just why was I lucky enough to meet my current wife.  Just why has my wife put up with me for over 20 years.  Just why have I had a job since turning 16 years old.  Just why have I been lucky enough to have a life so full of many friends.  Just why did I wait till I was 48 to fully acknowledge being Transgender.  Just why do I love being involved in racing.  Just why did I get lucky enough to have a beautiful granddaughter that’s full of love.  Just why does any of this matter cause the real blessing is living my life true to myself and enjoying my family and friends in this crazy world.  Just why is gender so darn important to disrupt so many lives.  Just why can’t we have equality among all of us.  These Questions can go on forever and ever without any real answers.  Reality is at the end of the day love yourself and enjoy the many things life has to offer.  Take blessings in Family and friends that will circulate throughout your life.  Enjoy the beauty of nature cause were only here a short time to enjoy this wonderfully viscous life.