Well somewhere along the way the last update in October disappeared. It's been another fun month as always working on my dancing, voice, projects at the house, chatting with friends on zoom. I still am not a super fan of zoom meetings as I prefer in person. I went for a yearly check-up at the doctor and all is well. This year is my forth year since I made the decision to accept my true gender and the last four years have all been a dream since childhood. Although at an early age my understanding of gender and my feeling were more a source of immense problems. I dressed up for no understandable reason as a girl when ever I could be hidden. There were feelings I had of being a girl. I spent countless days and nights trying to understand the feelings. The fear of what would happen if someone found out my secret scared me a lot. There really was know way I could grasp my feelings and can say that learning about gender has answered many questions I carried for years. My only regret today is lacking the knowledge at an early age to be able to transition at a younger age. I still don't know that with the knowledge back in the day if my fears would of allowed me to share the information of my gender. So here's to next 50 years of living as my true self.
I had an interesting adventure the other day. A couple of friends and me went down to the lake and had gotten a boat for the day along with a couple other friends on jet ski's. We ventured out into the water and headed down the lake to a local bar to enjoy lunch. I decided to wear my skirtini and enjoyed being out for the first time in a truly public setting comfortably. I did wear my outfit into lunch and never really give it a second thought till partway through lunch. During lunch I realized there wasn't even a hesitation about walking out in public as I felt comfortable. It's just that I couldn't imagine being able to go out in public in swim wear. I did go out and drive the jet ski for the first time in my life. I had the jet ski at max speed with in two minutes seventy five M.P.H. I learned a lot about watching the water and hitting the waves. We finished the final race the other day for the year. I've been working on my dancing skills while enjoying great local music. It's been busy as ever for me not hiding.
The summer is starting to disappear for 2020. Overall the days swimming, dancing, group, work, mowing, garden, music and the joy of friends and family has made this a fun summer minus the virus. I did have a moment one day while shopping where a loud person had to ask me if I was female or male. I smiled and replied female legally fortunately she shut up and went on. It seems really strange with renfest cancelled for the year and racing almost done what fun adventures lie ahead.
It's been a really busy summer to date even though covid is a pain. We've been lucky enough to continue racing which helps crush my need for racing. Lucky for me one of my favorite bands got to play the other night in an outdoor venue and I got to dance. The bar I go to for live music is still playing and a little more dancing ensued. My groups are still all meeting on zoom and at least we get a little bit of togetherness. One of the fun things was taking my granddaughter with me to the lake to mow and then a little swim. We had a fabulous time swimming it was really funny when I got out of the truck and took off my skirt and t-shirt she replied "oh you have a two piece". Sometimes in life its the little things that make things super fun. I've been attending family dinner the last several months and granddaughter has gone with me the last couple weekends and after dinner we went to the park. At the park last weekend my five year old nephew said "Aunt Kim push me" then my granddaughter said "Grandpa push me" they each took turns very loudly saying this multiple times with other people around. This scared me and made me smile all at the same time fortunately no one paid any attention. My garden isn't doing so well as it seems to be a wildlife hot spot although there is still pumpkins growing and tomatoes. I hoping that the skating rink opens up soon as its been a bit since I've touch the ice with my blades. I also been swimming a bunch at a friends house and enjoying dinner with her family.
Let me start by saying I hope everyone is doing well. The virus is still affecting many things, but I've been busy regardless. My garden is growing up well but still waiting on tomatoes. I've been enjoying swimming at a friends house which is helping give me some nice tan lines. Still going out to the bar and listening to live music and learning to dance. My dancing skills are getting a bit better each time and my fears of getting up to dance have changed a bunch. We are still having races at the track and this year my feminine side is growing. See this year my clothing choice is girl all the way. I've been wearing t-shirts and leggings with a short skirt. Each day of growth is very rewarding and makes me smile. I've been attending my groups on zoom although it's nice to see my friends can't wait to get back to live in person groups. I finally got my nails done for the first time since the end of February. One of the first things I did with my new nails was change the struts on my truck very carefully didn't want to mess them up.
Time continues to fly hope everyone had a safe and fabulous forth of July. The garden is requiring a bit of water on these hot days, but still growing. I had to do a bit of maintenance on my truck the timing belt was only 150000 miles past do and so I spent a day changing it. The project went fairly smooth got to wear my bikini top while being outside all day. Amazing little things to make a girls day better. I've been going and watching a few local bands and working on my dancing. It's really hard to believe eight months ago I wouldn't move towards a dance floor hardly and now let me dance. I always said I look like a chicken running to keep from getting its head chopped off and surprisingly my moves are getting a little better. I even danced with a few guys still trying to learn how to do this stuff. Love to spin but I'm usually out of control. It's always good to hear live music and support local venues. The groups I'm part of continue to grow and help via zoom. The Girls night out group had started going back to restaurants but I believe were going back to zoom because of the spike. I really dislike this virus but understand the need to pull back. The racing has gone fairly well looking forward to more great action. I went out to dinner with my friend the other night a nice lady came up to our table and said excuse me But I just wanted to say how beautiful you are inside and out. I told the lady thank you and she left but what a great gesture. Hope everyone has a great rest of the week catch ya next time
I guess a little apology about the length of time between updates. I've been attacking projects at the house every chance I get. My garden is growing at a crazy pace but not like the weeds that constantly need pulled. My neighbor gave me some pretty flowers that I planted in the boxes beside my back porch. We had a new porch built and I finished the underneath and moved all the blocks in front for my border plus planted some different variations of tall grass and I think it looks sharp. Beside mowing my yard and lake lot been helping my daughter take care of hers. The bars are opening back up and its been nice to get back to live music and a little dancing although my dancing is a little rough they say keep practicing. All of the groups in which I participate are still meeting on line but I'm ready for the face to face meetings again. We started racing Memorial day weekend it was nice to get back in the tractor and up in the flag stand. I'm finally getting to a complete comfortable spot being myself at the track and this is helping me become an even stronger person. I said a million times how blessed with family and friends I am and they are also helping me become stronger as a person. I enjoy spending time with my friends out eating, dancing, chatting, and swimming. The other day swimming was my first time at someone else's house in a bikini and I felt completely comfortable. I've been lucky to get to work through this whole virus thing and hopefully it'll go away soon. I'm very excited the supreme court has said that I have protections at work although a small victory the reality is all I want is to support my family safely. Enjoy life and have fun till next time.
This week has had ups and downs as I had to put down one of my dogs(Thunder), but at least he's not suffering. My mom sent me a condolence card for the loss of my dog and it was addressed to Kimberly. This is the second card to be addresessed to my name and while happy and crying reading the card thinking of both the loss and gain at the moment. The reality of being acknowledged by my mom leaves super hopeful and happy. It's hard to allow people the time to adjust, but I'm glad that I was patient. You see maybe I didn't always show or share my true feelings of love as I should've. Hiding within myself for fear of rejection by someone I love deeply is a very scary place to be. It took me years to accept myself and look forward to continueing the growth as we all grow older. In other news racing starts this weekend back in the flagstand as I work to grow as my true self in an enviroment where a few years ago was afraid. I'm super excited to say the fear is all but gone as I head into this year. I've been wearing tank tops on warm days for practice and stretch pants with short skirts. I'm trying to decide what to wear on opening day to think the choice would ever be an option is amazing. The garden is growing like crazy. The house projects have been many duct work, wiring, plumbing, cabinet building, landscape, and a few other odds and ends. My groups have been having chats on zoom, but I can't wait to get back to in person visits.
The struggle with this covid-19 virus lockdown has been a challenge for me to stay put. I've been working on the house doing many little projects. I planted the garden waiting for it to grow up. It looks like I'll be picking some radishes real soon. Hoping the cold weather is a thing of the past. We've been having some small practices at the track and looks like soon racing will start up. Ran over my phone with the mower and the phone lost. I was helping my daughter move a stove and as we were getting ready to unload it some guy drove past turned around and asked if us ladies needed help. That was super feeling of acknowledgement in passing at some level. The hardest part of all this is missing my groups and friends. We've been having zoom chats but it not the same. Hope everyone is doing well.
The struggle still continues in waiting out this stinking virus that's making me hang out in my house. I'm not going to lie about the fact of missing my friends and family. Racing season should be under way and my weekends up on the flagstand but we wait. So in the meantime I built 185 block wall along the driveway. I had a video chat with my transwomen group the other night which was nice but not the same as being in a room together followed by our dinner out. I was lucky enough to spend a few hours chatting with a friend over the weekend helping to make this a little easier. I did get to pack the track a little on saturday which was nice being outside in the tractor again. The garden is half tilled and a couple of items planted will plant more as soon as this cold spell leaves. I went out Easter morning to the park and took two hundred and forty photo's. I enjoyed the morning before thhe weather changed. I'm a lucky person that gets to continue working as we provide ppe to the meat processing plants and equipment. Anyway have a super week talk at ya all later.
I hope as I write all is going well for all my friends and family as we struggle to get through covid19. It's been a wierd couple weeks as I struggle to stay home and safe. Being someone thats always on the go it's a struggle missing my friends and family that I've grown used to hanging out with. I'm fortunate to be on the essintial list and still able to go in for work. I've been working on getting the garden ready and cleaning up the yard. This weekend was supposed to be the first race of 2020 at the track. Hopefully this will all be behind us soon. Thoughts and prayers to all those fighting covid19. Yesturday was Transgender Day of Visibility and I posted a little acknowledgement of my being a transwoman and it still amazes me how many of my friends and family show love and respect. I'm beyond blessed with so many great and faboulous people in my life and the helps me become an even stronger person as I continue growing up. I can't begin to write the happiness I feel everyday of my journey. Please stay home and safe hugs to all.
The politicians in Missouri are really trying to wreak havok on the young transgender kids in Missouri. I hope the bills stall or fail before something bad happens to the young kids. I'm involved in a new LBGTQ+ group in my home town and hoping we can work on outreach and education for all. I'm also involved in starting a new pflag satelite in my community for which i super stoked to be part of. Community outreach and education is something I feel like would be a great asset for me. I really enjoy sharing my story and am not afraid to answer questions. It's finally looking like spring should arrive in the near future and I'm ready to outside in the garden or on the bike. I continue to learn everyday about my ability to stand up and be seen. I can't even begin to express how blessed I am to have such a loving wife. I would like to take a second and encourage everyone that if a love one comes out to you remind them first that you love them. After that you can take the time to communicate and seek out education to have a greater understanding of your loved one. Remember both side can be hurt in a serious way by bad initial responses take the time needed to think through. Have a great day and Hugs to you all
I can't even begin to tell you all about the several meetings and group things I've attended in last few weeks. I'm trying to understand the attack on the transgender community in the state of Missouri with regards to all the anti-LBGTQ+ bills. The harsh reality is we aren't going any where and we've always exsisted. The real harm comes when you endanger the kids by refusing the proper medical care as proscribed by the medical and phycoligical fields. Like they are making it up the best care is to allow someone the reality of there true gender. LET ME BE PEFECTLY CLEAR HARM CAN BE DONE AND SUICIDE IS A REAL PERSPECTIVE. The rates of suicide rise if a person is rejected or denied the proper treatment. The reality that a majority of people making decisions have very little knowledge on gender. Most of these people trying to pass this don't even know a transgender person and are making up assumptioms based on off the wall reports driven by fear. Let me explain the majority of transgender people wish for nothing more than to live a healthy safe life no different than the majority of every cis person. Please take a moment and tell the politicians to refuse this hurtful treatment of good american citizens.
One of my new things is dancing. I'm learning to get up and dance at some of the concerts and bars I go to. I've danced with many nice ladies and a couple gentleman. I had my first slow dance with a man the other night. He pulled me in to him and directed me to turn right and turn left. He was a friend of the drummer in the band. As we were dancing he said" I don't even feel unconfortable". Well I'm not trying to make anyone unconfortable amd I didn't even ask him to dance he just grabbed my hand. What fun it was and to grow further. During the evening I also danced multiple times with a couple ladies who both came by and gave me hug before they left. Besides the dancing the music from the bands was fun. I had the race banquet this past weekend and everything went well. I wore a black skirt and a sparkly top along with my jacket plus a pair of boots. It was so great to be completely myself. I enjoyed group the other night such delightful times.
I'm beyond blessed to have so many awesome people in my life. I celebrated my 51st birthday and was wished a happy birthday by more than a 150 on facebook alone. As a kid streaming of being the girl I felt like my biggest fear was that I would be cast out. I laid there many nights hoping that there would be a couple of people that cotinued to love me. I guess my dreams were wrong as many have supported me as I transitioned into my trueself. Thankfully as my struggles to understand the feeling within I allowed myself to accept the girl feelings that stirred within. I waited till roughly forty two years of age to truly accept the feelings of my true gender. The only regret currently is that I waited this long. Although the many obstacles and challenges of life allowed me the opertunity to learn so much. I want to say THANK YOU to all who've helped me. Here's to another 50 plus years.
The start to a new decade as I look forward to more growth. When I entered the last decade the reality of accepting the feelings buried inside me were just a dream. I'm beyond blessed by the support I've recieved from a tremendous group of young ladies and my wife. The worst part is having hidden for so long and waiting to understand the feelings. I had a feeling of mixed emotions about being a girl. I worried a bunch about sharing this information with family, friends and co-workers. What would happen if I told someone I felt like a girl. Well as I start this new decade I well aware many will support me and a couple will choose to leave my life there loss. Though many fears remain in dealing with the world this girl will be rockin forever. Enjoy a faboulous new year.
A super Christmas gift. My Christmas card from my mom was addressed to Kimberly and Joan. This is the first Christmas since I came out that my mom has identified me by my name. I left shocked with a happiness. Hopefully this will mean my internal hurt will be ending soon. I'm so thankful for all who have encouraged me to be patient as I felt hurt. I think next to my wife giving me the money for my name change a few years back this is one of the greatest gifts. My wife did get me a cup painted pink/blue by our niece with KTE Motorsports 66 with checkerd flags. I enjoyed a good evening eating and sharing time with family. Chistmas eve went to IHOP with a few friends for some conversation and food again what fun. I'm beyond blessed to have many lovely people in my life. I enjoyed a little skate time on the ice. On a visit to the zoo I saw new penquin chicks and watched them get fed what fun.
Merry Christmas to all!
It's been of course a couple of busy weeks but as we approach the holidays I'd like to encourage those of you who have lost family because of acknowledging your true self. Find support in your friends and groups in your community. It does hurt to have family reject you but many others will love you. Groups that support and understand the issues allow one continued growth. Ultimatly the challenge really comes down to how we handle the rejection from those we love. Please be kind to yourself and if you need help contact someone to help you. Love to all Merry Christmas.
The reality that December is among us has me looking over my year. I started the year off turning 50 years old. The amount of fun with friends has been astonishingly amazing. My growth of my acceptance of my true gender has allowed me to grow aboundly. Seeing the reality I feel spectacular in my own skin. I'm exceptionally happy to report the progress of being accepted by people that are trying to understand has grown this year. Although the fact of still waiting to be completely accepted by my family is still hurtful the blessing of having them in my life allows me to continue my love for them. While no surgeries or others truly impacting things have happened this year my love of life has continued to grow. The political world is very scary as they've continued to try and assault the LBGTQ+ community. I want to take a moment and report there has been no attempt by me at any level to attack or hurt anyone in a ladies room. I use the ladies room to go pottie wash my hands and maybe check make-up. I have however gone to work and did some work for a paycheck paid some taxes and insurance so that I can afford a home and car. Being completely honest I have looked at less porn since I came out than the rest of my adult life. Sex isn't a burning desire could care less about it. Enjoying the friendships of many friends is an absolute blessing. I would like to take a moment and acknowledge how blessed to have found a few spectacular support groups that continue to inspire me. I'm lucky to get to hear of the struggles and life achievments and share some of my knowledge as well as growth of my own knowledge from these groups. The reality that some people believe we choose gender issues is insain. Listening to the struggles of many different people it has became abundantly clear that you don't choose gender more less you choose to accept yourself for who you are. Unfortunatly many in society can't understand the reality of gender because of being scared of the unknown. Gender isn't an LED sign that lights up and displays which gender you are. Lets look at accepting oneself and realize the challenges and life trauma's that happen because of this choice. The risk of loosing people that you love and respect in this world. The reality of loosing a job because of a lack of understanding by society. The fear associated with medical issues, and the possibility of loosing a home. Ask yourself why would someone choose to add these plus others burdens in there life. The only real reward is the happiness one feels accepting there true gender a feeling most of us have carried and hiddin for years. We struggled ourselves trying to understand the feeling from within.
It's been a super busy week at work, butI kicked butt and took names. Getting ready to enjoy some more concerts this weekend along with my granddaughters birthday. Last week enjoyed some time enjoying friends and another concert. One of the coolest things, I was asked to be a part of a LBGTQ+ group in my home town excited to help grow within my own community. Although I've never been in a position quite like this its exciting. I attended multiple groups this week and the transgender day of remembrance celebration. The blessing of participating and enjoying the community is beyond cool. Remember to enjoy all you can as time will disappear.
November 10, 2019
Even though there was lousy weather last coupe weeks I enjoyed a few days off work. Passed out candy for the race track at trail or treat around 1500 pieces. On Halloween passed out candy over at my friends haunted garage. It's been fun being a witch this year. I've gone out and had a eye appointment and need glasses there ordered. I was the first one on the ice this year on opening day at ice terrace. This is a big tradition for me to go out and enjoy kicking off the season. I still enjoy skating and hope to eventually learn to spin, but time well time at my age I try to be careful cause falling hurts. I visited the zoo and enjoyed talking to some regulars and staff whom I talk with. I enjoyed a party over at a friends house with several friends always fun to hang out with friends. This weekend was full of concerts always enjoy listening to talented musician friends. Fun night chatting and singing with friends. Race season is over and time to prep for next year.
Well now that renfest is over and I look back on the season. I realize the blessing in my life of so many friends. Many talented friends that are musicans and actors or actresses. It's super fun hanging out and talking with so many. Racing season is winding down and prep for next year is under way. Time to ramp up a little hockey and some concerts. Maybe I'll get the opertunity to ride the bike and visit the zoo some more. I had a faboulous weekend started friday at the zoo on friday and then passing candy out for Valley speedway at trail or treat over 1500 pieces. The kids kept saying thank you and I practiced my voice your welcome many times over. On saturday I went and worked on the race track hard work drove the bus back and forth rolling down the new dirt. In the evening enjoyed a fun party at a friends house. On sunday attended a wedding for a couple of my friends more fun. Now starts a fun week of vaction to bad the weather is terrible. Oh well find other fun things to do maybe skating and a few other fun things.
The last couple weeks have been super busy with Renfest and a few other activities. I must say as renfest season comes to a close how blessed to have so many spectacular friends. During the season getting to meet and see people new and old is totally cool. The conversations have been wide ranging which is super. The oppertunity to wear my many fairy costumes hard to believe. I was given a pretty little fairy fly custom decorated by friends in ye old photos honored that they made me something so pretty. It's really neat to see pictures from nine to twelve years ago and see my changes in the last couple years. Even though I've aged a couple years the difference in my appearence is amazing. My horomones are helping soften my harsher side of my appearence. Happy can't begin to describe the way I feel. The love I feel from people around me really glow. There are a couple more weeks of racing left this season. After the season then planning and prep for next year. Hopefully we'll get some nice weather here and there and I'll sqeeze in a few more bike rides. I went skating the other day looking forward to more ice time and thankfully feeling no bad efffects from the leg injury earlier in the year. It's time for some concerts soon looking forward to a busy end of the year.
I've been super busy with many different things. To start with Renfest on sundays is as always a blast. It's totally cool to chat and visit with so many friends for this I;m truly blessed. I wish mother nature would take a couple days off and allow some dry weather. The weather is affecting the race track been to wet to race. I've attended a few concerts in the last couple weeks and been working on getting up and dancing. Enjoying dancing and listening to bands is a lt of fun. The garden is almost done for the year. Work has been busy but vacation time is a coming. This means zoo visits and ice skating maybe a few bike rides.
Another super fun week with a few concerts and renfest. Being a nice friend I went over and pulled the starter off my friends truck. I had replaced it a month ago and something started grinding. The starter nose had broken off. After a short bit the starter was replaced. I went to higher end resturaunt on friday enjoyed sitting by the lake listening to Kim and the Gasmen. On Saturday drove the fire and saftey vehicle in the Blue springs parade, and then went out to Elton Dan and the Rocket Band along with Almost Kiss. On Sunday I wore my pink fairy outfit to renfest enjoyed the day.
I'm truly blessed with some fabulous friends. The KCRenfest is full of many amazing people who have known of Kimberly for several years. I just love the fact that they've accepted me many years ago. I enjoy dressing up as a fairy and going out to play around the fair grounds. The many talented performers make for days that fly by. The joy of putting smiles on peoples faces makes me smile even more. I enjoyed driving the speedway safety vehicle in the Grain Valley parade. Racing is still going on for another month or so. I'm in need of a little rest after playing and working so hard. I finally picked some tomatoes out of the garden tonight.
September 4, 2019
It's been hard for me to be patient and wait for acknowledgement from my dad. I struggled hard to allow him to come to terms. In the end waiting and hearing my dad call me Kimberly has given me an emotion that is out of this world. This week while at my mom and dads house changing a light my dad dead named me, but then promptly apologized for not calling me Kimberly. Inside I was crying tears of happiness. A couple days later my dad sent me a message and said Hi Kimberly which I beyond excited to see.
Its that time of year renfest has started and it really great to see so many friends. I truly enjoy putting on my fairy outfits and walking around the fair grounds enjoying the sights and sounds. I enjoyed something like eight different bands up Santa Cali Gon over the holiday and the renfest which has made me tired the last couple days. finally picked a few tomatoes out of the garden before the critters found them. Group last night was a again a super time and very educational to me.
August 25, 2019
This has been a pretty good week. I actually had an interaction at the race track, and for the first time had someone come out and point blank ask me if I was transgender. Well to start a couple of other track staff had called me over to the picinic table where they were seated. A couple of older gentleman was sitting on the other end. After the staff asked me what they wanted the older gentleman asked if he could ask me a question. "why do you have polished nailed your a male right." My reply was no I'm not male. He then asked "are you transgender?" Yes I replied he just grumbled and went to walk away and the staff told me and your rocking it. I guess there was a bit more conversation and apparently the older gentleman doesn't really approve. Great thing in my life I need no ones approval to accept myself. Oh well racing was good and it felt good to acknowledge myself to the older gentleman. Last sunday I got to enjoy taking my almost 9 year old granddaughter with me to the lake to mow. I enjoyed having her along reminded me of riding up there with my grandpa. We did the mowing and then went down to the beach for a swim. Although we really didn't plan the swim I had worn my swimsuit as I need the sun for my tan. This was a first for me in public in my swimsuit which was my patriotic bikini. I did wave to people as they drove by. So much fun to continue my growth being my trueself.
August 12, 2019
I had the privilege of enjoying group last week, and the discussion raised the interesting question about acknowledging your past gender or erasing it. I wrote a piece To Hide or Acknowledge My Past on it as to how I feel. That topic also reminded me to talk a bit about Dead Naming. I'm unsure why people can't respect another persons name and pronouns. The hurt people do to others refusing to accept someone's personal name and pronouns is absurd. After taking a bike ride this week I surpassed a hundred miles so far this year. I need to pedal a little bit more and rack up a few more miles. Enjoyed the zoo and the Ice skating rink yesturday. Although there were a couple falls skating it happens when you try hard. Still working on the voice and hopefully improving.
July 31, 2019
One of the many things that I truly noticed this week is how people are looking at me and addressing me. While a great portion of how people look at me depends on my clothing choice, which tends to be a bit different. When I say different my favorite thing to wear is cute dresses and skirts along with petticoats. These outfits seem to attract a good deal of attention some positive and some very questioning. When I dress up in modern dresses it seems like very few even notice anything different than a normal young lady. In jeans and a t-shirt it kind of varies depending on where I'm at. When it comes to being addressed this varies as well depending a lot of times on my actions. Sometimes my voice is better than others as this is an extremely tough to change process. Each day I work on my voice, actions and fight a little bit with myself on being on cue as a lady or struggling to know if my actions or voice is feminine enough. Through all of the ups and downs I remind myself to stay positive because of my true happiness within. I struggle a little with correcting people which is something I'm working on. I am completely happy with my identity of female and should just need to work on my fears of correcting people. I think a good portion of the problem exist because I don't like being confrontational on any level. Through the many different events I attend there have been no real issues of anyone being rude directly to me. This isn't to say people haven't whispered or laughed although these times are few and far in-between doesn't mean I don't know. Truly the number of people that are positive and treat me exceptionally well rules in comparison to the bad times. I enjoy the growth to the person I'm becoming regardless of being perfect in my eyes.
This gardening thing is truly frustrating this year as something keeps stealing tomatoes green or red. The peppers are doing really good this year and not affected by the critters. It truly is a blessing to be involved in racing as this is something I thoroughly enjoy. I stay very busy on the weekends because of racing which can sometimes limit my ability to enjoy other things in the end of things not sure I'd have it any other way. I'm can say what a blessing it has been to attend the family dinners at my niece Janet's house the last couple months. It is truly different seeing my family more than once every few months.
July 21, 2019
wow! can't believe the time is flying by. So many things have been going on and I keep staying up way to late. There are more things to do than I have the ability to accomplish. I can't begin to say what I feel about my groups and the conversations discussing the many things. I feel like the education gained from hearing and discussing helps me grow more each time. Truly blessed to get to enjoy so many great things with great people. Racing has been a hot adventure the last couple weeks, but again super fun. I helped some friends and built a deck to go swimming maybe I'll get to swim again soon. I've enjoyed a few more concerts with friends the last couple weeks looking forward to more in the near future. It's awfully hard to keep up this fun schedule but truly worth it. My garden is growing up like crazy finally pulled a couple tomatoes will be several when they start turning red. Today I finally went to the ice rink and skated leg felt pretty good. I tried to take it easy and not push to hard. I've made a few more visits to the zoo.
I've had a super fun weekend last weekend after a little racing action on Friday on Saturday I enjoyed an evening with family and some friends at my sisters house watching fireworks. After the fireworks I enjoyed sometime with a couple friends till 2 something in the morning. Sunday rise and shine at 6 to visit the KC Zoo, then Equality pride Kansas, followed by Northland Pride, and then dinner at my nieces house. After the day full of activities one of the greatest things happened. As my parents were getting ready to leave my Dad hugged me and called me Kimberly. I waited for this my whole life to hear this. I'm uncertain where this will lead the next time. I can't begin to express the joy.
I had a chance to enjoy a bit of time in the garden pulling out weeds. Hopefully there'll be some tomatoes and peppers soon. I got a new phone and while trying to set a couple things my patience got pushed and one of the great of things being on hormones is I'm a little calmer. In my previous state a few years back I would of probably thrown the damn thing. I enjoyed talking to my nail tech the other night as I got some red/white/blue and a little glitter. The thing about summer is how tired I can get trying to accomplish so much. I got a little scared last Saturday as I was leaving a bar concert. I was dressed in a blue dress with my pink petticoat and high heels. As I was heading toward my truck in the back of the bar there were a whole group of guys probably around twenty. I felt a lot of fear being in back although there was no problems still shook me. Oh well off for more fun and adventures.
A couple weeks ago I along with my wife had the distinct pleasure of getting to discuss our marriage with one of my transgender groups. It was exceptionally neat to share our experiences of our 20 plus years together. This was also the first time my wife has attended a group with me. Since fathers day was last weekend I thought I'd share a little bit about how hard mothers day and fathers day has been on me. My parents still don't acknowledge my name and gender currently which causes me an extreme hurt. I know they love me above all other this but I wish they understood the hurt I feel inside. I have way to much love and respect for my parents to be obnoxious, rude, or disrespectful. I cry deeply inside from the hurt and hope at some point that they will understand and be able to recognize my gender is female and my name is Kimberly. My parents mean more than I've probably ever expressed to them because I spent many years trying to avoid them since I was hiding my thoughts and feelings about my gender issues. Realizing the fact that I failed to communicate partially because of my lack of knowledge and my fears of loosing them and other people in my life. I only have the one set of parents that did give me the lessons in life. I'm truly blessed that I was given all the opportunities in my life. I can only continue to show love and respect as this is what I was taught. I did learn that Kleenex are a necessity when picking out cards. Although this hurt is hidden in me I want nothing more than to enjoy the time remaining in our lives. Happy fathers day to all fathers. I've been enjoying the racing season even though the weather has been a challenge. We had a touring series at the track and I flagged the race. I felt awesome as the officials from the touring series gendered me correctly and used my name. It's seems like people at the track are finally starting to catch on to my transition. I enjoyed a few fun time with some friends enjoyed the Jolly Rogers fan club party followed by a beautiful evening out listening to Elton Dan and the rocket fuel group on the roof top at O'Read Hotel. I also enjoyed a gorgeous night out on the plaza listening to Kim and the Gasmen. I probably shouldn't forget the great trips out to the zoo.
As we head into Pride month I'm reminded of just how far I've come with regards to my acknowledgment of my gender and sexual orientation. It took me a great portion of my life to finally acknowledge that I'm Trans and identify as a lesbian/Bi. There is nothing wrong with being true to yourself. The fears of telling and facing the loss of friends scared me to my core. I can only imagine how many of us have gone through the same feelings especially the ones before me. I maybe didn't realize all the turmoil before I acknowledged my true self within the last few years. I'm reminded just how much more work there is to do gaining the equality that is deserved by every LBGTQ+ person. I enjoyed attending the KCPride fest this year and getting to sit at the Transgender Institute table and talk with people about trans stuff. I danced a little in the isle said hi to multiple people as they walked by. I'm learning to really hold my head up high and embrace my true self. Blessings to all who help make the world a better place each day.
It's been busy at work the last couple of weeks and in my life. There are some positive and a few negative things. It's nice to more frequently get gendered correctly than previous year as I continue my growth. The multiple comments from people on my looks sure makes this girl feel special. The blessings of many friends make each day even more special. The negative is really a personal problem with a severe hurt from someone in my family in regards to my transitions. Hopefully time will heal the wounds as I wait patiently for them to accept my change. My change is a piece of my life that I had many years to deal with and therefore should allow everyone the time to adjust. It hurts me more than I've shown to anyone. Ready for the rain to give us a break because it is interfering with racing, yard work, and bike riding.
Of the many fun things happening in my life I can't help but think of friends. Many friends make me smile and I can feel my happiness swell. I enjoy many things like concerts and hearing manytalented friends entertain me. The beauty of the zoo with the multitudes of animals and super staff is always a super fun time. The people at the race track are starting to learn of my transition hopefully. The extreme beauty of my many LBGT friends that are helping me grow and become stronger to realize my full potential. I'm working hard to push harder at work and become an even more valuable employee.
Maybe I was too quick announcing the warmer weather. However, racing has continued on even with the colder temps. I went and did a little spring cleaning up at the lake lot with a nice little fire. I enjoyed a nice presentation last week on consent and sexual assault. I continue to try and learn about many things in hopes that if possible I can help someone in distress. The many challenges from life continue to push me to work hard. I'm going to start watching my diet as my wieght has been climbing the last month. I hope the weather will warm up and I can get back to biking again.
I think we may be officially on to warmer weather for good. So the tomato plants and pepper plants are in the garden. Now to start picking up all the little twigs and get ready for mowing season. Already enjoying the zoo and being outside enjoying race season. My new personal goal is to work on getting people informed at the track. It is a little challenging as there are always new people from years past. Sometimes being exceptionally busy makes it a challenge to take the time to correct people. I really don't think anyone is intentionally dead naming me at the track. Just a work in process that hopefully will clear up in time. I received a compliment this morning on my voice by a co-worker. Yeah, hopefully getting closer to having my fem voice. I've been singing and talking a lot trying to practice and now occasionally falling into the voice I desire. So many fun things joined in a congo line at the bar and even danced a song or two. Still working hard to get up and not care about my lack of dance skills. Good music and friends make life fun.
It's a little funny how time flies by so quickly. I've been a little busy the last couple weeks with racing, concerts, group, leadership meetings, and bike riding. I finally went for my first bike ride since hurting my leg back in February. I had fun riding and enjoying the warm weather. I attended a leadership forum on AIDS learning quite a bit. The opportunity to stay involved in my community at some level is awesome. Officially kicked off the 2019 racing season last weekend. It's always fun to get back in the flag stand for yet another season. I must say its hard to here the news that the plan to eliminate Transgender service members is still ago. I know many great service members that have served both cis and transgender.
March 22, 2019
This week I attended UMKC Pride Breakfest as a guest of the Transgender Institute. I really enjoyed hearing from and seeing the LBGT speakers and videos from students and staff. It was totally cool that Sarah McBride was the main speaker. Hearing her talk energizes my belief that change will eventually happen. Kuddos to UMKC for working on diversity and offering help to students. The sponsors that make it all happen with funding WOW is all I can say. It was a big crowd there to support the LBGT community at the college. I hope to attend next time there is a breakfast. After the breakfast My friend joined me at the zoo. It was a beautiful day hanging out with a friend seeing the animals. We followed that up with the Captain Marvel movie. Then to a group meeting. So many activities this week got to sheep foot the track and have a practice last weekend which means racing season is coming. Enjoyed a night out listening to one of my favorite bands.
March 12, 2019
Really seems wierd that were almost the middle of March already. Hopefully spring is on the way ready to get the 2019 racing season underway. It'll be a busy year with racing. This past weekend I enjoyed sometime with couple of my friends enjoying some music out at a local place. It's always a great time to visit with friends and hear some music. I attended the raceday at the hockey game. I got to sit in the sprint and get pushed around the building trying to park. Sometime maybe I'll get to drive around the track once its put together completely. I did my presentation at voice with a fair amount of success. Really as far as voice goes time and effort will continue to help out.
March 4, 2019
Let me start off saying still tired of winter that won't end. I was approached by my daughter saying my granddaughter was having an issue with me. My granddaughter felt for some reason I was leaving or something because of me working on my voice and correcting her mis-gendering me. It was tough as I'm still not sure exactly how much you try and tell an eight year old. I just explained a little about transgender which seemed to ease her mind. I got a big hug after we talked. I'm still unsure why she felt like all of the sudden she was losing me. I've never since shes been born ever hidden from her my girl side. I'm working on a speech for my finally in voice class. I feel like the progress is slow in voice but at least there's progress. I was able to enjoy a couple hockey games and one of them was princess night. I was given tierra at the door which I then wore all night even to Denny's afterwords. I dyed my hair with some more blonde highlights. Busy week all in all.
February 17, 2019
Busy times enjoying weekends with friends at different concerts. Really tired of the winter and ready to bring on spring for a little more bike riding weather. I've been working hard on my voice at voice lessons maybe its getting better. Currently fighting a cold which isn't helping with the voice. I understand the things that need to be worked on and will require me to continually practice as there is no magic to changing a voice for MTF. I'm also working on my comportment. Thanks to my good friend for making this class happen. I'm truly blessed with a great friend. I must say that at the concert last night had many great compliments from some of my friends for me being myself.
February 7, 2019
It's cold outside and I'm ready for some warm weather. Last week I managed to get out and enjoy a nice 60 degree day out biking with a friend we squeezed out just a little over thirty mile. I had a great time being out talking and pedaling through some beautiful trails. I can't help thinking how lucky my life has been since acknowledging my true self. Many great friends have spent time with me at many different events. My happiness and smile have created a spectacular glow as I've been told by several different people. It's really weird to here people say your glowing. I still enjoy issues in my life that need to be resolved but over all life is fantastic. Even with struggles of certain issues in my world realizing to tackle one battle at a time takes a lot of patience. I still working on being a better person and trying to understand about different people. Well enjoy yourself and have a fabulous week.
January 30, 2019
Voice lessons the other night we worked a little bit on comportment. Voice is a work in process that I will eventually figure out. It's fun to work with the other girls and learn. I enjoyed a beautiful weekend with a concert, banquet for the race track, zoo, and ice skating. I been working on getting stuff ready for the show in a couple weeks even happier when its gone. Just a short check-in.
January 23, 2019
The other day I celebrated what some would consider a mile stone. I had the opportunity to go out with family and friends to celebrate my 50th birthday. To say this was awesome cause it's the first real birthday as legal girl. I can't believe the time I wasted in my life trying to understand the real me. This last year was fantastic in my self acceptance. The growth I had this year tells me a young dog can learn new tricks. While there are still tasks in front of me this year it's really shaping up to be fun. I went out and bought me a couple new outfits with some of my birthday money. Lookin forward to some music this weekend along with the racing banquet. I plan on wearing my new things to the banquet. I'm not sure how many actually know of my transition but no fear. I'm a young lady accept it.
January 13, 2019
Another busy couple of weekends in my world. I managed to squeeze out the first bike ride in January a nice 27.1 mile bike ride. I also enjoyed a night out listening to my friends sing at the pub. I went to the endo doctor to get my yearly checkup. A girl must make sure to stay healthy. I'm lucky to enjoy hanging out with so many friends. It'll be a fun year as many things coming up on my schedule. I will again be flagging out at the race track except were going to do two nights instead of one. I plan to continue to grow learning and trying to get better at educating others. Lucky enough to get some more voice lessons to try improve my voice into the more feminine sound.
January 2, 2019
Looking back on 2018 there are many things to celebrate. I worked for a full year as Kimberly at work. In February my name and gender change became official. I managed to get most things with my name change still a couple more to complete. I flagged another season out at the dirt track. I enjoyed many fun concerts and events with friends. I finished my blue and pink fairy outfit for renfest and really enjoyed wearing it out at renfest. I attended many group sessions and I'm learning to break out of my shell from many years of hiding. I can't forget the many friends new and old that bless me by being in my life. I've been working on my voice and would like to think its at least a touch better than before a little more feminine. My fears of the bathroom seem to be less than last year. I believe my growth in knowledge has made me a little smarter. The many accomplishments this year with still more work to accomplish. My family for the most part seem to be ok with my change there is still a little work to be done in this area. I'm trying to be patient and allow them time to adjust. I really can say being myself has made me a truly happy young lady. I had my first colonoscopy this year this was big because I've never been put under. I went to the hospital as Kimberly legally for the first time. I'm in hopes that 2019 will allow me to get even smarter and become a better educator on trans issues. I think each step helps others not have to suffer, and face the issues I have for last 40 years. Anyhow happy new year to each of you.
December 19, 2018
With Christmas fast approaching please take the time to enjoy the people and things around your life. Although I still struggle with everyone's complete acceptance of who I am. The blessing is these people are still here it's my hope someday they'll accept and understand. My happiness is above and beyond anything I can imagine. I do wish that communications with my parents would improve. I've really been enjoying skating and concerts in the last couple weeks very busy. I managed to make
4 batches of chocolate chip cookies
3 batches of snickerdoodles cookies
2 batches of peanut butter cookies
1batch of Mint Chip cookies
1 batch of old fashioned oatmeal raisin cookies
1 batch of M & M cookies
they sure turned out good nice to share with friends and family.
December 6, 2018
Well thanksgiving was a good time with my family. We enjoyed a great meal and a little chat time with each other. I've been staying very busy at work and playing hard when I on my time. The friends that surround the music and hockey in the last week have made me smile even more than normal. The fact that my continual growth into my true self is leading me to be more open and allow people in my life. I enjoyed a night at group this week learning and hopefully helping others. I attended an LBGTQ leadership session in which we talked about handling ourselves through the holidays plus listened to a panel on relationships it's great that we have so many groups coming together in support of our community. I'd say a great moment at this session was when someone I know told me that my glow makes them smile. I'm trying to be a better person each day.
November 21, 2018
Last night I attended TDOR Transgender Day of Remembrance vigil service here in the KC area. It reminded me to push forward further in educating others because of the loss of people who were transgender. The lives of several individuals taken sadly because of who they were. These people are humans that didn't make a choice to be transgender, but did decide to acknowledge their true identity. A little reminder you don't choose to be transgender. More scientific studies are proving that we have parts of the brain that match the opposite of are assigned gender at birth. It takes a lot to face the fears of our society and potential loss of friends and family. Therefore this Thanksgiving I would like to say how thankful for the friends and family for the support since I acknowledged my true self. Since way back when I was a young person and began having the feelings of being a girl the fears of someone finding out has haunted me. Realizing that being a female that's trapped in the wrong body has brought me many years of anxiety. Since finally learning and understanding why being transgender is a blessing to me. I've had the opportunity to meet many fabulous new friends over the last couple of years because of opening the closet door and venturing out. Since I venture out quite frequently to many different places it's impossible to not be scared of possibly being someone who could get hurt by someone simply because of who I am. As a society we can change this by doing our part to help educate people so maybe there'll be a understanding of transgender. Again many thanks to everyone before me that's helped to make being honest to myself a reality. If the people before me hadn't shown the courage to be honest with themselves I'm afraid it would've been impossible for me to even have the opportunity. I would also like to say a extra word of thanks to the many speakers that have stood up and educated and fought for the right to be ourselves. Happy thanksgiving to everyone.
Another round of election some wins and some loses. There were some good news and some not so good. Anyhow I choose to continue onward and will fight for the right to protect my rights that I deserve. In my life I know the mistakes that I've made from poor financial decisions to poor choices in love but at the end of the day I know what a good person I am. I did mostly hide until last year when I decided to face the fear and live true to my feelings. The feelings of being female that I felt since childhood. Acknowledging myself was a big relief as I finally feel like I can grow stronger with a more compassionate feelings. There are many bad things in life a person could be criminal, drug user or dealer, abusive or several other bad things. I hate bad things I believe in the positive things in life enjoying family and friends many different activities none of which are criminal. Let me reiterate being trans is not a choice, but I do choose to live my life as my authentic self as the woman I am. I am not any less a great person for acknowledging my true self. Hopefully one day society will understand that being trans is not a choice but something your born with as part of your bodily make-up. On a positive thought I enjoyed a great week on vacation last week enjoyed a little bike riding, ice skating, Hockey games, friends, zoo another anniversary with my great wife.
November 1, 2018
As of yesterday I've been married to my lovely wife for 20 years. Only 21 years ago I planned out a Halloween party with family and friends. I put on a French maid dress that I had made and during the party got down and asked her to marry me. Although we've had a couple little fights about things throughout our marriage most of the time love and accept the other without a problem. I'm one of the few transwomen I know that has been lucky enough to have my spouse stand beside me during my transition. My wife did at one point try and slow me down on dressing but I guess me being a little bit of pain she quickly told me to put a dress on. Over the years since my wife has known of my desires she has continually stood by me. Yes I feel exceptionally blessed and hope there are many more years to come. I'm really enjoying my vacation just finished up the last race of the season, squeezed in a bike ride on the trails in the woods, visited the zoo, went hung out with a couple friends, and enjoyed Halloween with some friends at their annual haunted garage. I'm going ice skating in the morning as they open the out door ice rink. This has been something I've done the last several years always fun. Then I get to watch the Mavericks play some hockey a couple games this weekend so much fun.
October 24, 2018
This week again I'm reminded that many people still are unaware of what it means to be transgender. The current government is still trying to attack valid citizens. We do exist we will always exist hopefully someday though we'll have equality for all nothing special just equal rights. Let me say that though I can't speak for each trans person most of us are law abiding citizens who want to work and provide for ourselves and our families. Why then is it wrong to expect to be treated fairly on the job or to have housing and maybe some healthcare. We have many serious problems in this country such as the criminal problems the financial problems, drug problems and other issues. As a transgender person I didn't choose to be transgender I am Transgender. I'm not ashamed in the least of who I am. I've been blessed in my life to have many people that love me and continue to love me. I can say that the insinuation that trans people want to attack people in bathrooms is false and that I in no way am a risk to hurting others. It's not the nature of things for me to hurt people. Wow how scary am I ? I work almost everyday of the week and spend my time away from work enjoying my family and friends what a threat. I pay taxes pay insurance and pay for my housing why is it wrong again to expect to be treated fairly? Oh on the basis of your religious beliefs you believe its right to hurt others because you don't understand science. Science is learning that there are differences in different parts of the brain that show the gender. However I'm not a doctor or scientist just someone who has spent a majority of my life trying to understand why I feel the way I do. I tried to learn and understand the best I can. I waited a good many years to fully come out because of a fear of loosing friends and family. I worried about being able to keep my job in the country that I was born and raised in. I worried about the aspects of having health care to take care of myself as I grow older. I worried about having a house where I could be safe. Please if you don't understand what it means to be transgender do some research. It's not about attacking someone in a bathroom or ruining the family life it's about living true to oneself. Really just ask a transgender person about there feelings they are very real.
October 17, 2018
Again this week I'm reminded how short our time is here with loss of a great friend whom I grew up with and was honored to have as a best man at my wedding. Lucky for me I had the opportunity to learn with and from my friend from the many projects of home construction to keeping our cars on the road. We spent many days talking about dreams we had and projects we'd like to accomplish. It reminds me how sad it is to have fallouts as we transition the fights and loss of loved ones. Hopefully as society grows and learns that being transgender isn't a choice, and hopefully the reality of who we are will eventually lead to less fallouts. Most of us fear the loss of loved ones as we acknowledge our true selves. Please above all else respect each other and love each other. On a positive side of thing Renfest has closed for the season and I was truly blessed to hang out with many friends. Still have a couple weeks of racing before the season ends. Enjoyed a night out at the rescue rally even won another pair of wings in the silent auction. I also enjoyed some live music with friends this past weekend. Now I must work o doing the things I've been putting off mowing, cleaning, and putting away all the fair garb. I'm working on finishing a few more name change items hopefully I wrap the majority of stuff in the next couple weeks.
October 10, 2018
I can say it's disappointing the current political state of affairs. I was upset that such a production can take place with a guy that lied. I can say at some level I'm scared for my rights, but I'll be fighting till I die for my right and for others rights. I'm very fortunate over the last year to grow stronger. I'm blessed with many people in my life who have helped me grow stronger and I believe will all stand up against the unjust treatment of all. There should be very little reason in America that all should be treated equally and fairly. I will do my best to be as strong can be. No hiding in my future from the people that are afraid of the LBGTQ+ community. Fortunately for me Renfest is a great distraction with several of the people that have helped me get stronger. Even in the mud still great to see everyone and wear my wings. Unfortunately last weekend for renfest is coming up and race season will be finishing up soon. I'll have to go visit the zoo and get some ice skating done.
October 3, 2018
I really enjoy the freedom of not being worried about others finding out about my gender change. I can enjoy things without the thought what if someone figures out I'm trans news flash I'm a transwomen. I'm allowed to smile and glow which makes me even happier. I glad that my day job and my fun job at the race track are going well. In one month it'll be a year since I totally came out which just seems completely impossible. The renfest this year has been exceptionally fun. I got wooed by the Lord Mayor being a member of the audience judging the gentleman contest. Twelve guys were on stage they had to strut, pose, and woo the Lady Mayor, and when the Lord Mayors turn came up he took my hand and told me how he appreciates me being myself and such a delight to the fair grounds with my smile and a few other things that were making me blush and melt. What a lucky person I am to get to enjoy many beautiful things. Enjoyed another fine evening racing only 4 more races this year plus a demo derby then on to planning next year. I really enjoy the opportunity attend a couple of good groups as I grow and work towards helping others grow. Fun times ahead.
Since the Renfest started four weeks ago time has flown by. It could be attending group or spending time with friends. Possibly race track consuming time drove in our second and final parade of the year. The siren can make people jump when your bump it what fun maybe evil fun. Racing is going good still working on changing everyone from the past to my current name will probably be an ongoing process for a long time. Everybody so far has been respectful to my face at least not heard of anything bad. I continue to really enjoy renfest this year extreme amount of fun. Thanks to the many talented acts and many friends time fly's by. I attended a couple different groups last week to help me continue my growth. I attend the groups mainly to learn stuff and help others. I don't think at this point in my journey group is necessary for my journey. I really feel its important to help the community. I've enjoyed a couple more concerts with friends this week always fun learning its ok to dance and not care.
A little slow updating last few days cause of being exceptionally busy. I can't begin to tell you the fun I've had out at kc renfest. So many old friends and some new friends make for a lot of fun. I also got to drive the safety ambulance in the parade last weekend for the race track what fun to play with lights and sirens. I'm going to drive in another parade this coming weekend. I went out bike riding with a couple friends this week and managed to rack up a total of 36 miles this week. While I'm not where I want to be with the total miles of just over 400 will need to continue riding a lot to get to last years total. Anyway its still a pretty good amount still have a little time before the end of the year. I had to go see my doctor for my yearly visit all went good. My weight has stayed down all my vitals were good and I believe all the blood work is ok. Went and mowed my lake lot this week my how the grass can grow after a little rain. Hopefully we'll have a beautiful day this weekend a little racing on Saturday and back to Renfest Sunday. I'll have to upload pictures from my phone and post some pictures later this week.
September 6, 2018
What a busy week between attending concerts, racing, and renfest. I managed to enjoy great music up at Santa Cali Gon even danced standing by my chair. While dancing at a concert may not be a big deal most people I've always been really reserved afraid to be noticed. As I'm growing in the last year my afraid is getting to be less. I'm really liking getting up and dancing even though my rhythm sucks but who's watching or better question who cares. Life is short have fun and enjoy. I still need to get brave enough to stand up and do karaoke. Racing is always fun as I've enjoyed since childhood. Renfest is as always a favorite time for me. Seeing friends and making new friends is totally awesome. I really enjoy chatting and seeing the many costumes and shows. I got to wear my new pink/blue fairy outfit. I enjoyed my new costume as it simply looks beautiful. I got to co-host the trans group the other night which is a big step from two years ago. I would barley speak when I started attending and as I try to overcome my shyness be more involved this is yet another stepping stone. I stepped out of my comfort zone and went to a board meeting for my lake lot. My lake lot is a small community so most people probably don't know a transgender person. All went well as know one attacked me or anything. you can look in Kimberly 2018 photos to see the new fairy out fit. Almost forgot to mention the bumble bee that spent 40 minutes on me at renfest very nice fellow, but I did have to talk about trying to get up my skirt or up in the face.
I did it finally finished up my 2018 fairy for KCRenfest very excited. I managed to go out to Harrison Park and do a photo shoot. I enjoyed attending Trans group this week learned some more and had a fabulous time with friends. Ventured out to the bar with a few friends the other night still to chicken to get up and sing Karaoke maybe next time. Still practicing my voice working on being more consistent. Each week as I grow a little older the reality of how much I enjoy learning and growing daily. Looking forward to another awesome week.
August 19, 2018
I managed last Sunday to squeeze in a 9.5 mile bike ride on the local mountain trails. I love the beauty of the outdoors in the woods. Very good exercise riding over rocks, trees, and dirt plus whatever else nature throws in there. I'm still making strides towards completing my new fairy outfit for KCRenfest. I've managed to complete most of it must tie down some loose ends. Very excited about Renfest coming up. I went to a LBGTQ+ leadership meeting this week and learned quite a bit. I keep trying to get a little more involved in different aspects of my community. We talked about white privilege and how we still have a ways to go at erasing this issue. My thinking on this is changing because I can see my former male privilege especially at work. A perfect clean cut male can easily be considered for a promotion but as a transwomen I feel the opportunity doesn't exist. I realize that each business makes up there own mind on how to treat employees and some are great and others fails. In realizing this I can see where this affects women, people of color, or different cultures. I will continue to push forward with my growth as an employee and in my knowledge of the world. We also enjoyed a nice panel talking about being bi which at some points I've identified with. I went this week to a board meeting at my lake lot association which kind of tested my nerves. I went in a skirt out in the small little community, but there were no problems. I'm fighting the work blues a little this week trying to get back on top. It's my personal struggle to want to achieve more at all levels. It's was a great Friday night and I enjoyed some music by some friends along with friends.
August 10, 2018
The sewing machine has been humming along making great progress on the newest fairy outfit for KC Renfest this year. Pretty excited ready for another year out at fair. Enjoyed a nice evening the other night with the trans group great conversation and dinner. Enjoyed visiting the Zoo last weekend fun times visiting the animals. I need to get back on my bike and do some riding maybe Sunday. I've been kind of lazy when it comes to working out because of all the sewing. Procrastinating on making the new outfit last minute is consuming a lot of my evening.
Continually I'm amazed how many things can be learned by listening and watching. I attended a informative group the other night and surprisingly the speaker had never met a trans person that she was aware of. Enjoyed a nice conversation and hopefully helped her gain a little knowledge. Although it wasn't a long conversation hopefully she was able to take something away. I can say my voice still really outed me however its still a work in process. I think the shock of not completely looking outlandish really shocked her. She was very quick to announce how beautiful I am and what a pretty dress I had on. Aside from enjoying this group I finally started making really good progress on the new fairy outfit for KCRenfest. I still need to finish several pieces before you'll get to see a picture. Many more fun things to come in the next few days.
July 25, 2018
As yet another exciting weekend approaches for racing and fun, I can't deny the fact of a few challenges this week. One thing is trying to contain my temper because of hating the feeling after. I really must learn a little more patience and to relax. It's easy for me to get wound up over things especially if it involves waiting for something. Maybe just realizing everything has a reason that creates the wait. I must also say I feel a little under appreciated at work sometimes it seems so surreal that a company can be so afraid of someone different than themselves. I could probably ask the question a million times why can't we as a society learn to accept people different than ourselves. This not only applies at work but also throughout life. It makes the challenge of being the better person a little tough, but I will succeed and become even stronger. The goal is not to let problems defeat me and for me to push through. I can always smile about the many accomplishments each week and look at how productive I've been realizing regardless of how certain people treat others. I can look at the fact that this week while I was flipping someone off they called me a lady or the fact I got yelled at on the flag stand but at least they said Kimberly. To many times in life we must really access importance of the turmoil's we face. Learn grow and become even stronger the smile on my face at the end of the day is worth more than anyone could ever understand. Life is about looking forward accepting the positives and moving past the negatives. Someday we all meet the end of our time on earth property, money won't matter our happiness from the life we choose means the most. So with that said onward to more concerts, racing and time with friends.
July 16, 2018
What a week of activities from concerts to racing. I really enjoyed going out listening to some music with friends even though we melted in the heat. Enjoyed flagging a couple nights of PowerI midgets. The temperature was again a little on the hot side but great racing made for a cooler evening. I attended the first Outskrts event that is a little like pride with an opportunity to hang out with LBGTQ+ community. Enjoyed another hot day listening to music watching dancers and visiting with a few vendors. All in all it was great fun day in the sun. While the days are flying by renfest is fast approaching and I should be busy working on the new fairy outfit that must get done. Very excited for a new outfit and hopefully I'll knock it out.
July 6, 2018
Sometimes with all the happiness comes a bit of sadness. I've tried to be patient and allow people the opportunity to have a little time to come to terms with me being transgender. I believe my time has come for me to either move on with or without them. Understand being transgender is not a choice. I am transgender have been my whole life will be the rest of my life. My name is Kimberly Tiffany. I'm female. I use she her hers pronouns. I'm a sister not a brother. I'm a daughter not a Son. I do make the choice to live as I feel because I need too. I'm not doing this as a fad or for a show. Ignorance on your part isn't a good excuse for not understanding. I'm always willing to answer questions regarding my gender. I believe in being the better person and will walk away. Note this is not what I want but what I need to do. I LOVE these people that can't respect me. Therefore I should enjoy the friends and family that understand my name is Kimberly. It's tough to let go of the people who you love, but for the betterment of my health its necessary. Hopefully one day in the future before were all dead the mends can occur and I can be with the people I've always loved, respected and looked up too. I'm not transgender to disrupt anyone's life or to try and hurt anyone. I'm not tying to embarrass anyone by being myself. It would be unfair of me to sit and say I've been a perfect person in my life. I do try very hard to be good and kind. This is not a game for me it's very serious. Yes it hurts. To the best of my knowledge I've shown nothing but respect since my announcement that I'm transgender. I should've done this back when I was a young kid hiding really does hurt. It defiantly does nothing to improve a relationship by hiding. My biggest regret is that I didn't acknowledge my self as a child. I realize that the signs of me being trans weren't flashing in neon around me. Reality is science is proving that there are reasons for my transgender state. There isn't anyone thing that could've prevented my being transgender. Remember our time on earth is short.
July 6, 2018
Really this has been an awesome week thoroughly enjoyed myself bike riding with friends. We managed a 30 mile bike ride on Sunday followed by a 50 mile bike ride on Wednesday. Enjoyed some nice music with friends at dinner a couple nights. Racing is still a lot of fun. My garden geez what can I say the tomato cages are falling over because there loaded. Picked a couple peppers finally, and a few cucumbers. Group was very interesting this week as well. What can I say about work except it's been busy.
June 25, 2018
Hopefully soon I'll have tomatoes from my garden. It's growing like crazy ton of tomatoes on the plants. Likewise my life is growing like crazy with all the opportunities for fun and friendship. I thoroughly enjoy the time I get to spend hanging out at races, backyard fires, lake, listening to music and much more. I really enjoyed spending the evening outside talking with the Daughters family. I'm making a little more process on my new fairy outfit for renfest. Any luck at all I will finish working on it at the last minute. Always more to do than time in the day.
June 13, 2018
Is there a way that my life could get much better? I enjoy my family, friends and the beautiful world in which we live. I enjoy so many things each week and look forward to what each day brings. Although there are days at work things are very messed up luck would have it I enjoy trying to achieve the impossible in trying to fix things. I'm very proud of my accomplishments at work and excited to continue to grow. I get the opportunity each day to make stuff happen in my life. This isn't saying that everything is perfect as we all know struggles to pay bills been a long life project. I try my best to make the most with what I have and good friends certainly have enlightened my life. I've been trying hard to keep the garden watered since rain is really lacking. Most things are growing like crazy and I guess the bunnies enjoyed the beans and corn plants. Loosing a couple things is worth it to watch them playing in my yard each year with a new round of lil bunnies. I went to the zoo this weekend and really enjoyed the nice hot weather but really turning down the furnace outside about 10 degrees would be awesome. racing and concerts along with mowing keep me very busy this last week. Probably the best thing was to attend Meet the board at the Center for Inclusion this last weekend and learn about what's in store. What a great group of people working to make KC a better place. I shouldn't forget the chance to hang out with a couple great friends for an evening.
June 6, 2018
This past weekend was totally awesome. I went to see Elton Dan and the Rocket Band in St. Joe, Missouri, and I was given an 8x 11 photo of Elton Dan playing the piano by a photographer. I had Elton Dan autograph the photo and take a picture with me. On Saturday the races were pretty good to watch and flag. Sunday I went to PrideKC to hang out for the day, and I ran into Caroline from the Transgender Institute. Caroline asked if I could help for a bit with stuff. I really enjoyed the whole day of assisting at the table getting to talk to people. One of the major things for me to overcome is my stepping out of my comfort space and talking with people. It is my belief that being in the closet held me back some in the past, and now I'm working on being able to approach people and share my story and educate to further help the Transgender community. Each one of us to touch someone with the truth about being transgender helps make it easier for other in the future. It was also very educational for me to hear some other stories. Time flew by cause I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Group the other night was really special as I learned some things that should help me grow. Its amazing the many lucky things to happen to me. Can hardly wait for the next weekend.
May 31, 2018
Possibly the best thing that happened this week was to be called boss lady at the race track. Each day I learn something from someone or dealing with someone. While there have been no problems since coming out there is still a few things that fixing would make my world happy. Sooner or later my name will hopefully be right everywhere. I realize that it takes a little bit for people to correct calling me by my former name. Pronouns are also an issue which most people are trying to work on using the feminine pronouns. Currently there are several people I believe are unaware of my name change and gender change. It would be a lot easier if we all wore name tags. Being patient is hard thing for me after waiting this long In my life, but with each day presents more opportunities to grow. It's kind of like waiting for the garden to produce the product. Speaking of gardens it would be a little helpful if it would rain every couple days. The plants are looking very good with the exception beans and lettuce which the rabbits seem to be enjoying. Enjoyed a nice bike ride in a 95 degree heat with a couple friends. I managed to get pulled out of my chair to dance with a great niece in front of the crowd at Los Cabos restaurant the other night. Who new being out of the closet could bring on so much dancing and singing. I should get to bed soon so I can hit up another concert tommorow.
May 23, 2018
Where in the world does the time go? It's been an excessively busy month just finished up my second class for voice. I managed to improve a little when I stay in my voice. I will continue to practice for a while and maybe return later for another round. Although not perfect my voice is definitely better than before. It's a long process to move the voice from in the chest to the head and lithe in a softer way. I must really say thanks to my friend for the gift of voice class. I'm a very lucky girl to get to grow into my world where I've always felt like I should be. Believe it or not I'm still working on changing my name on things and waiting impatiently for my birth certificate to arrive hopefully any day. I love the fact that I accepted myself and get to live life and enjoy so many friends, events, and life in general. My garden is growing like crazy but I've had to water almost everyday now for the last couple weeks cause its only rained like once. Thankful that I get to enjoy concerts, group, voice, work, racing, and eating out cause no longer afraid to be out.
It's been a couple weeks since I've managed to update the recent adventures. I could make multiple excuses and there are many reasons from racing to gardening maybe a few concerts. I would say probably the most precious was a evening out with my wife, granddaughter, and a few friends. You might ask what is so special about this night. I enjoyed dinner and thoroughly enjoyed dancing with my granddaughter while listening to friends play music and sing. My granddaughter unbeknown to her is helping me overcome my fear of dancing. I wouldn't dance very often before as I look like a chicken running around flopping wings. My little darling granddaughter drug me out to dance multiple times not just to the side but front and center in front of the band and everyone there watching. It really wasn't that bad as I never got hit with anything from anyone and had an awesome night. I went to a different show the following night and danced with someone there front and center again much to my surprise. I think the reality of acknowledging my true Identity is allowing me to be free to live without the fear of people discovering my identity crisis. It's been a few weeks since the racing season started while my name is still somewhat an issue there haven't been any other problems. It'll take a little time as I really don't introduce myself to each person who shows up there. Many people from the local racetracks have known me for years and old habits are hard to break. My garden is growing and will hopefully produce some nice stuff soon. I been many places seen several different people and my life is full of joy that I'm being accepted as myself. Hopefully someday our world can learn to accept people of color, race, gender, and sexuality as nothing less than a friend. Hopefully equality can be seen worldwide.
Lucky would probably be a good way to describe my life so far this year. Every week seems to bring more hurdles along with opportunity to grow. I'm continuing to change my name on different things as I figure out what is needed each place. I continue to grow and learn each day just maybe someday I'll even be wiser. I finally made it up to the lake lot to get mowing season under way. It always feels good to me to be outdoors and accomplish cleaning up the property. Racing is officially started this great season. At this current moment I've had no issues at the track. There are a few people that know and I'm sure some that are learning weekly about my coming out. Hopefully before the season ends most will know and my correct name will be used by everyone. Since we have new racers and crews each week some may never know my former self and others have known me for years. To date there have been no real problems with my coming out other than my parents to the best of my knowledge. I went to the zoo had many staff ask where I've been cause they haven't seen me. It feels really awesome when several people ask about you. Really should work hard this next week and get the garden planted because weather is making for a late start. Enough rambling for the moment hope everyone has a totally awesome week.
April 20, 2018
This week I enjoyed getting together with a friend for dinner with my wife. We had a lovely evening chit chatting. We went to a very busy restaurant and had to wait for quite sometime out in the front. During the wait as I was eating some peanuts my bag suddenly got empty and I found the rest of the nut all over my lap as the bottom fell out. I enjoyed going to group this week as there was a fabulous conversation about respect. We talked quite a bit about each other in our community. The discussion really brought to light some issues that need to be addressed in the LBGTQ community. We talked about accepting each other for who we are. There is no need to tear someone down for how they Identify especially within the transgender community. We each have our own wants needs and path to follow. Everyone of us need to respect the others around us. We should be working together to get the equality for everyone. I can say that my happiness is abundant. I continue to work on completing the many items of my name change. I will probably be changing my name next year at this time on something but at least its progress. Really the hard part of the name change is finding out what each individual place requires to change your name. Waiting for the weather to break and allow springtime to bring warmth and sunshine. I've already tilled the garden and waiting to plant seeds. The bike could also use a workout as I need to log miles to reach my goal for the year. It's also racing season if mother nature ever cooperates and gives a nice weather. Maybe tommorow we'll see. It will be the first race since officially acknowledging my true self. To my surprise I feel very excited to get the last of my closet opened up. This is really the last big hurdle in my being out with everyone that matters in my life. Oh there will be a few stragglers to follow but this is the last big bunch. I'm still taking voice lessons and can notice a difference in the way I'm talking. It's amazingly hard hear yourself and make the adjustments to have my lovely voice. I'm also trying to correct some bad habits of extra facial movements which I was unaware of.
April 8, 2018
So it was back to work last week after having a little time off. So many fun things in the last week from Hockey to concerts. I did attend a PROMO presentation in my quest trying to learn how to help more in the community. So it seems like with each name change completion I think of another item that needs to be changed. Even though there seems to be a never ending of changing name I'm thoroughly enjoying the fact that my name is officially changed. I'm finding the hardest part of the name change is just to find out what each one requires to change the name. I sure feel like the last week has been a run from start to finish. I sure anxious for the winter to get over so I can get back out on the bike. I'm still taking voice lessons and I feel like progress is being made getting my voice to sound more correct with my true gender.
March 27, 2018
I was honored to be able to help a friend with her recovery from GRS. So I've spent the last week cooped up in a hotel room playing nurse. Some people are really brave as I'm probably the least qualified candidate for the job. My Knowledge on health care is very minimal. I been lucky enough to have been fairly healthy it wasn't until a year ago I found me a doctor. The primary reason for that was to get the hormones. All is good the patient is recovering very nicely and should be coming home shortly after I leave. I must get back to work and try and catch up as I really didn't get a whole lot of notice to plan this trip out. Really didn't get to see a whole lot in Texas because I was here to make sure she was taken care of. Maybe some day I'll return for more and excitement. I did manage to enjoy breakfast in the morning good thing bad thing. Good was I had some nice breakfast bad well I probably don't need to eat like that. I did get to go down and enjoy the workout room a few times it really is nice to have equipment only a few feet away.
March 20, 2018
I feel like my running shoes are on fire cause I've been so busy the last couple weeks. I took care of things at work and hopefully HR will soon have me all ironed out. Very excited to finally be legally Kimberly everywhere. I still have a wide variety of things to accomplish in regards to the name change. I'm trying to sort things out and do things on what I perceive to be the most important. There been little let down in my enjoying life the last couple weeks from hockey to time spent with friends. I started another round of voice lessons as I try to smooth out my voice and make it generally reflect who I am. The really hard part right now is breaking bad habits on how certain things are done. I just need to keep practicing and remembering what I'm being taught. Each day I seem to get a little closer to being finished transitioning and moving towards just living life. It really is a very awesome time to grow and learn.
March 8, 2018
Well the drivers license has arrived was able to get my SS paperwork done should receive the card soon. I managed to get by the voting commission office and change my name on voters registration. I will getting with work to try and finish up there then on to next pile of things that need a name change. I will be sending the order into the birth certificate place this week . We had the first practice out at the race track and I enjoyed a nice day outside. I went out and enjoyed a nice evening listening to a Elton Dan and the Rocket band perform. I also went for the first time this year to a hockey game this year been a while since I'd been. I managed on Sunday to go out to the zoo and enjoy a beautiful day. I started another round of voice lessons this week trying to get my voice right. Enjoyed another night at group with some lovely people discussing safety. On another note I might get to assist a friend in the next couple weeks. Well that pretty much wraps up another boring week.
I'm very impatiently waiting for my Drivers License to show up in the mail. I need it to get the SS card done then all the other paperwork. I managed to enjoy sometime with family and friends in the last week. I went over and told my mom about my name and gender change and she isn't really understanding where all of this came from with me being Trans. I don't have all the right understanding of her feelings likewise she doesn't understand mine. Our love for each other remains strong and hopefully time will mend the understanding of each others feelings. I went out and enjoyed some friends from a renfest group listening to the Maguire Brothers good food friends and night. I had an opportunity to celebrate a friends birthday with several people on a fine Saturday evening. Oh wait racing season practice starts in a couple days will be hot and heavy back at the track.
Super exciting week, lets start with my court hearing for my name change. Finally the day came to see the judge and after a little bit of conversation I'm officially Kimberly Tiffany Egleston and my gender is female. I managed to get the drivers license changed and am excited for my new name and gender. I tried to get SS done but they apparently they quit allowing the use of paper version of the license last week. This has been a dream since I very young and didn't think it would ever happen. I finished up my voice class with my presentation on bathrooms that I had written for the website. All went well my voice is making little strides towards a more feminine sound. Thanks to a certain friend I will again get to attend the next round of voice lessons. Enjoyed a fine morning at Mc D with a few girls from group on Sunday before a 57 mile bike ride. The weather made for a nice ride could of done without 40 MPH wind. I'm really lucky to have a supportive wife who went with me to court and given me extra support throughout my transition. Really can't even begin to explain what a blessing to have the friends and family I do.
February 13, 2018
I had another fantastic week of fun events plus some time at work. I'm trying to improve more on my work skills learning more and putting forth more effort to achieve things that need to be done. I know the efforts probably will never get noticed by anyone but I will feel the great achievement in the end. I can continue to step forward or craw backwards I choose to be stepping forward. Tomorrow I will be giving a presentation in voice class for the final lesson. I feel that my voice has potential as long as I follow through and continue to practice. I've learned many great skills and may go through another session in the future to further progress. Last week I had a great time in the group meeting as we discussed the happy moment in our transition. After a few of us went out and enjoyed some pizza and great conversations. I went over to my friends house after voice class and visited with two great friends. I'm again amazed how much I learn each and every day. I spent Friday evening enjoying some music with friends. Saturday and Sunday I went to World of Wheels car show and worked the booth for the race track. I really was delighted when someone said pay her to their kid. I really was acknowledged as female by several people and that really put the smile on my face. Probably the happiest moment came as I was driving the sprint car out after the show some guy told me girls don't drive race cars. Well yes I do drive a race car at chance I get. I managed to grow some more and have a less fear about using the ladies room out in public. In a week from today I go to my court hearing on my legal name change and my nerves and anxieties are very high currently waiting to get this chapter complete. That's the week in review lets hope for more great times this week.
Let's start off with the fact I finished January with a 65 miles on the bike as I set a bigger goal than last years 1036 miles. I enjoyed yet another great voice lesson in which I feel as long as I continue to practice will eventually get a more feminine voice. I enjoyed hanging out with a few friends this last week always such a fun time. I went out and enjoyed some music at the saloon. I had to announce the banquet for the race track. I normally don't announce but stepped up and did I believe a good job. I actually went to the banquet dressed up in black slacks black top and my boots looking very girl like. This was the first time for a track event since I announced my coming out in November. I didn't feel the fear as I did last year which really felt cool. I think being out helps cause I don't need to hide. I should really try to figure out how to address them all about the name change and such some know and some don't. I kind of laugh as those that know try to keep it straight on the name and gender. Well lets hope for another awesome week as I get closer to the official name change.
I've enjoyed another fun busy week between work and voice group and hanging out with friends and family. Probably the most exciting news from the week is my hearing is set for my name and gender change in February. I also received my letter from my doctor expressing the fact my name and gender should be changed to match my gender identity. My anxieties are up and down in anticipation of the court hearing I might be counting the days smile. I finally managed to get rid of the holiday weight.
Today marks another year of my life. I wouldn't give up any of the fantastic things that have happened throughout my life. I can honestly say the last year of growth into who I've always wanted to be has to rank right near the top of the best of my life. There are a couple exceptions my marriage and my daughters birth and the granddaughter. These are some of the best blessings of life. I continue to grow and with such hope that each year provides more opportunity for fun and adventure. The last few weeks seem very busy I again got to enjoy group with some awesome girls followed by a night of voice lessons. Today a visit to the zoo followed by a 45 mile bike ride then dinner with family and friends. I'm still waiting for the judge to complete my name change soon I hope. My blood work all came back awesome will continue on with my hormones. I feel really good was able to eat a little better till tonight and lost some of the holiday weight back down to before the holiday weight.
I had a fairly awesome week as I got in my first bike ride of 2018 and took another voice lesson. I did pretty good in voice class trying to really put in the effort to talk more feminine. I've had to put myself in timeout so to speak for singing and talking to much trying to get the voice down. I need to give myself a chance to relax all the noise maker parts. lol. I'm waiting very impatiently for the courts in regards to the name change. Went in for a check up on my levels and stuff so I can get my scripts refilled and must wait a couple days to see the results of the blood work. My nurse said she wants to go shopping with me. Both the nurse and doctor both made comments on my makeup as to how nice I've done.
I forgot to mention that thanks to a friend I've been able to start voice lessons. I'm trying to learn how to use the girl voice in me and retrain my voice to allow the feminine side shine. Getting the voice ironed out will allow me to pass a little better without getting outed by my manly voice. I did manage to get the paperwork filled out and filed with the courts on my name change now I must wait. I went skating today and realized i really miss skating. I did pretty good no falls but some sloppy moves I need to practice on. I attended group and we had a presentation on trans history really cool to learn. I've been practicing on making my voice more feminine and I'm supposed to sing a song next week in class. I don't think they realize what they asked for in my singing.
Looking back on 2017 I achieved many lifelong dreams. I finally acknowledged that I was transgender to my family, job, and friends. I'm no longer hiding and it has allowed me to live as Kimberly completely. I will be filing to complete my name change this week. I been blessed to be surrounded by many awesome people who have helped me achieve what I dreamed about most of my life. I try to thank them frequently for there support. I still have a few issues that will hopefully iron themselves out after a little more time. I was able to attend many different events this year from concerts, hockey games, renfest, group, racing, and a few other things. I achieved 1036 miles bike riding from May to December. I managed to loose around 40 pounds to help improve my health. Although there have been problems in my life we must all remember that life deals blows to everyone and one must continue to keep digging to solve those problems. Here's to rockin on in 2018.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate holiday. I was really blessed to get to spend a little time with several friends and some family. My granddaughter started my weekend off by coming over followed by enjoying dinner the following night with the daughter and new son in law. Saturday evening I went to a friends for a get together of friends from my transgender group. Samantha made us some great snacks along with plenty of stories and game of cards against humanity. Sunday evening went to the sister in laws house and enjoyed a nice meal along with some conversation. After leaving the sister in laws I went to I-Hop and hung out with a group of friends from Renfest. Christmas day I went over to my friend Diane and Kayla's place for a bit then back to Samantha's for lunch again we ate like champions and enjoyed sharing memories from Christmas past in our lives. I went Christmas evening over to my sisters Christmas dinner. I had the opportunity to enjoy a little time with my family. I must say that my wife got me a beautiful heart shaped necklace with rainbow colored stones and my granddaughter and wife gave me the money to file for my name change. I don't think I ever had such an emotional wash over when I opened the card and it said here is the money for your name change. I'm very excited to get this done legally must get all the paperwork filled out and go file soon after first of the year. The bad side of all the good times I've had the last couple weeks is the weight loss is suffering. I will have to get really busy working out so I can loose what I've gained.
So I got the opportunity to make cookies with my granddaughter what fun. We managed to make snickerdoodles, peanut butter, chocolate chip, mint chip, M & M cookies, icing cookies, and oatmeal raisin. I can say cookies don't help the diet at all. I've been back out on the trails mountain biking so much fun being out in nature. Speaking of nature I managed to help my friend by taking down a 30+ tall 36 inch wide Ash tree down with no casualties to the house or us. My legs are feeling it this weekend from all the pushing on logs. I went and seen the Elton Dan show the other night along with Gypsies, Doves, and Dreams. I found yet another cool place that plays music. In case anyone is wondering the new Star Wars movies is pretty good. It was a fun adventure to go see with my friends. I really need to continue working out even though the weather is getting colder back to the basement. It's my hope that at some point the attacks by the current political administration on the LBGT community will end. I just not sure why the need to be aggressive towards us. I pay my taxes and don't want anything special just to be treated fairly and equally along with everyone else. I won't ever go away till my death hopefully many years down the road. Personally I can understand that some people have never met a transgender person, but there is no need to fear us. As a transwoman myself who frequently heads out for a good time and works full time not to mention working a little extra on my hobby of racing what's the fear. I come from a loving family who taught me a little about respect.
December 6, 2017
It's been a month since I officially came out at work and so far everything has gone well. I can say that it's getting easier for me to inform vendors and answer the phone of the new me. I got to enjoy myself out mountain biking for the first time. I really enjoyed riding on the trails of rocks, trees, dirt and whatever other junk in the way. Hopefully mother nature will allow some more nice days so I can ride a couple more times this year. I really enjoy being outside enjoying fresh air. Went to group the other night it's nice to meet other transwomen and share in the stories of our lives. I believe the group really helps make all of us stronger individuals. It really is fun when I go out lately to get properly gendered. Makes me smile a lot being who I've always been. My smile continues to grow each and everyday living my life. I been extremely blessed with many good friends that I get to enjoy many different things with from concerts to racing, biking, chatting, renfest, hockey, and many other things. My first year on hormones is only a couple days away and while I've enjoyed all the changes from the softness of my skin to my boob growth, thinning of the hair on my body it makes me extremely happy that I started. I should of done this years ago. I got a nice compliment on my growth in being more open and more assertive on speaking up. I've always been afraid to really talk because of hiding my true self. I really didn't want anyone to find out that I was transgender for fear of losing people in my life. As we fly towards Christmas my first one really being out I'm very excited to get to make cookies with the granddaughter this year. Hopefully we can make cookies together a tradition as I did with my grandparents. I always cherished the time baking with my grandparents and have very fond memories of all the tasty treats that were made. Well probably should get out of here and put in a little time exercising need to make sure I keep the weight off that I worked so hard to loose this year.
November 27, 2017
I hope everyone had good thanksgiving. I would say for the most part all went well with the exception of a little melt down that I had late Thursday night. I'm not dealing real well with the failure of some to understand that Paul is a dead name. Hopefully in time all will understand that I'm going to live true to myself. This means I'm Kimberly. Well anyway the wife let me cry a little but I must move on to bigger issues. Speaking of crying it really doesn't take a whole lot with the hormones for this to happen. I would like to take a moment to give a shout out to the girls from group. It is with help from several girls in the group that I gained the ability to grow and become true to myself. It's been just over a year since I joined the group and it's really grown right along with me. I accomplished my goal of getting 1003 miles on the bike. I also this past weekend had the opportunity attend my granddaughters birthday party hard to believe she is 7 already. Things are going fairly well at work so far everyone is trying to get my new name correct.
Bet you'll never guess that I went to the zoo again. I enjoyed the cool fall air and watching animals play. I was given a new racing T-shirt from Mason race team so I wore it to the zoo and took a few pictures. I thought about going a couple rounds with a kangaroo blocking the path but didn't want to hurt him. Even though it was a bit cool outside after the zoo I decided to go for a bike ride and managed to get another 34 miles under my belt. My 1000 mile goal is getting closer. I will need to keep pushing pedals to make the goal but it's within reach. I've had some great times in the last couple weeks hanging out with my friends from group they are great support. Thanksgiving is just around the corner it's always good fun times to see family. Oh yeah I'm learning to sign Kimberly on tickets at work who knew that would ever happen. I can honestly say being out at work is a vision from my childhood. I dreamed many nights about being myself living as female. Life is precious and I'm very pleased to live true to myself. Happiness is not just a word it's my true feeling.
I'm very blessed to have so many great family, friends and co-workers that been very supportive. Thank you for allowing me to be myself and have you in my life. You all are very special to me. I've officially completed my first week being out at work. I know that eventually my fears will diminish about living true to myself. I really had very few issues this week in regards to my transition. I'm extremely happy being who I've always felt myself to be. I'm looking forward to continued growth in my life. I had the opportunity the last few evenings to go hang out with a great group of friends and enjoy some nice conversations. Last night my wife joined me as we hung out for a pizza and fun conversations. It was great to finally get to introduce her to the girls from group. I forgot to mention the other day about getting my hair highlighted(thanks Janet). I really like the way my hair turned out with a little more glow.
It's official I'm finally living as a transwoman for the rest of my life. I started working today as Kimberly and have put out a notice to all my friends on facebook on both Paul and Kimberly's pages. Super excited to finally be living true to myself the way I've always felt. I enjoyed a nice vacation last week had a chance to see Kim and the Gasmen and go to Crown Center Ice Terrace opening. I managed to squeeze in a visit to the zoo and to go watch a transgender film and discussion. Last night I went my great nephews 2nd birthday party got introduced as aunt Kim by my niece which made me feel awesome. Life is so full of opportunities for learning and fun times with family and friends. I have accomplished my goal of coming out next is to get the name legally changed. Hopefully the name change will occur shortly after the first of the year. Well a little about my first day out at work officially. I really must say all went well, but I hadn't thought about the fact that Kimberly would get paged on load speaker for a phone calls. The second realization was I had to answer the phone as Kimberly with no knowledge who was on the other end. I don't have any real knowledge of who's been informed of my change. I was treated great by all the people I work with today. I know the fears and anxiety will hopefully diminish in a few weeks. I'm looking forward to continued growth of my true self with my family, friends, and co-workers.
November 1, 2017
I'm off enjoying my vacation from my job at the moment. I didn't go anywhere just relaxing at home this year. It's a little weird that I'm really excited about going back to work because I won't be hiding anymore when I go back. I'm a little nervous about going back because I will be coming out as Kimberly and using the ladies restroom. I can honestly say though that the excited out ways nervous at the moment. To finally get to live the way I've always felt is awesome. I've spent many days dreaming and wishing to be my true self. My goal will be to officially get my name changed soon after the new year. I will be posting a notice to friends on facebook on both pages around November 4 to inform everyone that my intentions are to live as a true transwomen. I will be living fulltime as Kimberly. I really excited that after this post most of my friends will all know that I'm Kimberly and I will be free to truly be myself. I've been enjoying some fun times the last week as I went to a friends house and enjoyed a nice evening around a campfire. I've also gone Maguire Brothers end of fair bash. I then followed that the following night seeing Elton Dan and the Rocket Band. We cancelled our last race at the track but had a practice followed by a bonfire. I also had the opportunity to help couple friends move. Halloween marked me and the wife 19 anniversary together in marriage. We had fun evening with a few friends passing out candy to kids at there annual haunted garage party followed by dinner at Denny's. Off to more fun and excitement.
Renfest for 2017 is over and I had a fantastic season with many friends. Biked 35 miles today making a total of 70 for the week, and now at 873 miles for the year 127 miles to go to make my 1000 mile goal. My last week at work before my Vacation and I officially come out at work as Kimberly. I am a little nervous and very excited that this is about to happen. It has been a long dream to finally be coming out as my true self to everyone. This also means that I'll be posting something on my other page acknowledging my transgender status. Oh yeah forgot to mention that a friend that's a musician at renfest made me a pink pearl necklace. She told me my smile and glow from this year at the fest was spectacular.
October 11, 2017
I'm not sure where to start the last couple weeks have flown by. Renfest on weekends along with racing defiantly make for short weekends. I've been trying to keep up with bike riding pushing 780 miles since May. I've had the opportunity to enjoy some live music along with dinner a few nights on the patio of a local restaurant. I also enjoyed sometime with the Trans group both on group night and game night. Probably the biggest thing the last couple weeks was marrying off my daughter. The wedding and the reception went off without too many problems. It was very nerve racking for me as I continue my transition. I wore a skirt to the rehearsal and wore a new ladies suit to the wedding per my daughters request I wore a pair of tall heels with my suit. One should not try to setup the reception while wearing heels makes the feet sore later. I even had to introduce myself to someone and almost said Paul but Kimberly actually came out. Kimberly also signed the guest book although these seem like small things each one is step in the process of becoming my true self. I'm still a little nervous and anxious about work but am expecting nothing but the best come November. well enough for now enjoy.
I managed to talk to HR last week and hopefully all is ok with Kimberly being out at work soon. I'm be lying a bit if I wasn't a little concerned but I can say very excited to finally live a dream from when I was young of being my true self. November can't happen soon enough to take another step in my life. There's been a lot going on with parades for the track, renfest, bike riding, racing, game night, group, zoo and concerts. The last few weeks have been a great growing experience. I had to go buy a new ladies suit for my daughters upcoming wedding. The suit really looks pretty need to take the jacket in and get some alterations done so it fits a bit more snug. The color is a dark charcoal pants, and jacket with a silver and black top underneath pictures soon after the wedding. I decided on a pair of nice heal dress shoe. Enjoyed looking around trying to find just the right thing to wear and as the wife was paying a nice lady tapped me on my shoulder and said she really liked my outfit which made the trip that much more worth it couldn't help smiling. Time keeps flying by with all the activities in my life. I am saving the money up to get the name change done hopefully soon.
Whew I can't hardly believe the Labor Day holiday was over so quickly. I was exceptionally busy getting the yards maintained before the holiday on Wednesday then on Thursday went to dinner and enjoyed some nice music on the patio of the restaurant. On Friday went up to Santa Cali Gon days on the Square and enjoyed a little bit of rock music from Stone Senate and Madison Rising. Saturday I did my normal track prep then flagged the races. On Sunday I returned to the Renfest in my green and pink fairy outfit then went out to Irish fest in the evening to watch the Maguire Brothers. Monday I again attended the renfest in the patriotic fairy outfit. I really enjoyed being out at the renfest getting to see many friends and shows. I did make a choice earlier in the week to go help clean out the swill pond at renfest for the robin hood show. The pond was full of nasty muck but hanging out with the group from fair was a lot of fun. I did manage to tell several people about my transition to Kimberly as I kept getting complimented on my apparent happiness. This was the first week since May that I failed to log any miles on the bike but I managed a ride last night. I believe I'm closer to coming out at work as I had a conversation with former head of my department. Really need to get the courage and have a talk with HR sometime in the near future. I decided that I intend to get my name change done with in the next year sooner the better.
August 27, 2017
This turned out to be another fun filled week. I managed to get a couple bike rides in one of rides turned out to be an opportunity to tell a friend of my transition. I ran into his wife at the park she said you want to come by and say hi that led to a 3 hour visit. We had game night again and I learned another couple of games this is really fun time hanging out with friends. The kcrenfest had there media night and I went enjoyed a great evening listening to some of my favorite renfest groups, eating, and enjoying company of friends. On Friday I met my wife after work at the zoo for the FOTZ late evening. We enjoyed a nice walk and saw the animals all waiting to get back in there habitat homes. Afterwards the wife and a friend joined me went had dinner and listened to a band at a local restaurant. Saturday I helped prep the motocross track then worked a corner during the race. Sunday I again visited the zoo and really enjoyed watching Milo and Ruwe the chimps playing around and then I got to watch masika the ape playing with a few others in the exhibit. These young ones were very active. I can't help but worry a little about the current administrations efforts to destroy LBGT rights. I strongly disagree with the stance on the military as I know several current and former transgender individuals that have served. It's getting hard to believe the president feels the need to push his hatred and bigotry. I hope that someone will soon see we are human not just second class citizens.
Another fun week in the books attended a concert the other night had tremendous fun at the pub. Group night was again insightful and as always a blast to hang out with many friends I've made since joining the group. I managed to squeeze in a couple 20 mile bike rides. I went to the zoo on Sunday as the weather was completely awesome in the morning nice walk, and I seen some cool things from a few animals. I attended a watch party for work, and I went dressed up in my blue dress with pink petticoat. This was the first time I really attended a work function dressed up, and I had a blast with a few co-workers. I managed to mention to a few co-workers that a name change is going to happen soon.
Please stop the HATE!!!!
We are all human and will never all be a 100% in agreement as to all things in life. In most things it's fair to say that we should learn to love each other for who we are as individuals. A little respect for other goes a long way.
I've been extremely busy again the last couple of weeks. Probably the best news to come out of this week is my doctors appointment went exceptionally well. My blood pressure was good and I've lost another 19 LBS since the last time I seen this doctor. I had the privilege of attending a rally in support for the transgender community. We enjoyed listening to a few guest speakers and then marched through the plaza. After the rally enjoyed dinner with a few of the girls. I've really enjoyed going to group and hearing and learning many different things from all the girls. Game night has been another high light being with friends learning new games and getting better at other games. I been riding the bike and walking quite a bit in order to help with the weight loss. I hit over 500 miles on the bike before the doctors appointment which was my personal goal. I did manage to have a small wipe out in the muddy rut on the trail yesterday, but was able to wash the mud off and continue. The garden is producing tomatoes like crazy but on the flip side I didn't get 1 cucumber this year. Banana peppers have been growing fairly well. I went and had my last laser treatment on my current plan will wait and see what the results turn up. I will have to go have electrolysis to have the white and grey hairs removed. We had a flood at the race track so I took the opportunity and made a lap in a kayak turned in a 4 minute lap. I blaming the pothole for my slow time not the operator as I was kind of squirrely on the back stretch and had a nice smooth run on the front stretch. I went to the zoo last weekend enjoyed the beautiful weather the lions and the Cheetahs were extremely active and fun to watch. I went over to my parents house dressed up last week and believe all went well. Excited being myself without fear of someone finding out accidentally. I'm still learning to put my fears aside and live as I feel. Extreme happiness is the feeling I have been open and out looking forward to continued growth.
I want to first thank all current and veteran military for your service in allowing me the freedom to be myself. I'm to say the least a little taken back by the current administrations attempts to destroy me and my LGBT community. Each person in our country has the right to be there true self and have rights allotted to all other Americans this includes serving our country. Knowing many transgendered individuals that have served our country for countless years before without being able to acknowledge there true self. Allowing one to be there true self relieves a stress factor that many of us have faced for years in dealing with our true identities. Many have served and many are serving currently hopefully someone will figure out how to straighten out the current administrations screwed up thought process. It seems like I'm waiting for the next attack on the LBGT community that is a key goal instead of putting thought in how to fix real current issues that we are facing in this country. Maybe focus on healthcare cost and coverage or possibly tax issues that seems to get further out of hand each day. I don't understand why we can't love each other and maybe try a little respect for others around us. It seems awful that several people want to be hateful to others. I can't even begin to tell you that I'm just trying to live my life to the fullest enjoying all that our country has to offer. I work hard everyday pay my taxes and try to be a good neighbor to people around me. Although I have moments of bad decisions in my treatment of others cause like every other person I'm not perfect. I've been known to go to my neighbors house and rake there leaves when her husband died in the fall or shovel the snow from her driveway. I've let neighbors borrow tools to make a project there working on easier. I lent a helping hand when I seen a neighbor struggling to load heavy items in there vehicle. I work a job to take care of my family as I was raised to take pride in whatever project I'm working on and constantly striving to be the best I can possibly be. It seems extremely screwed up that my biggest downfall is acknowledgement of my true transgendered self. Trying to live a happy healthy productive life is my biggest project. I can't even begin to tell you how busy I've been trying to keep up with all that is going on. I've managed to put another hundred miles on the bike getting close to reaching a goal of 500 miles by August 10 my doctors appointment day. I went on my first ride may 18 and as of tonight I'm just 32 miles away. I was very excited to attend group night with some of my friends always nice to get together help each other and continue to grow. We went out had dinner after the meeting for more fun mingling. Racing on the dirt track has kept me busy as we've had a couple specials the last few weekends. It takes a little extra work prepping the track in the hot weather. I did make a few visits to the zoo and took some more pictures. It's really neat going frequently because you see a lot more action some days then others with certain animals. I also went to game night and learned how to play a couple new board games and as always enjoyed the company of friends. Everyday seems like another opportunity to learn and grow. Speaking of growing the tomatoes are coming in like crazy however the cucumbers peeled over and died without a single cucumber. I also enjoyed a couple nights out with the wife, daughter, granddaughter we went out and enjoyed dinner and some music. almost forgot to mention I went out last night and watched the Maguire Brothers at the pub and hung out with more friends. Well guess I should get to bed another exciting day lies ahead.
It's been a fun packed couple weeks with a few adventure. I went to my mom's 70th birthday party and although I wore just jeans and my pink race shirt it turned out to have some great moments. It was great to see my mom happy with family and friends. I had one of the family friends come up behind me and say hi Kimberly. I was in shock a little bit because of not knowing she knew. I replied hi and she said it is Kimberly right. Well a little while later one of my aunts leaned in and told me I had the support of there family. I then had a conversation with my brother-in-law who informed me he had done some research on line and would try to call me Kimberly. I think I smiled the rest of the day. I then got the pleasure of driving my granddaughter to the ex wife house. My granddaughter is really fun to have a talk with some days as she is a young person trying to learn everything.
I went to the lake and mowed one night stopped by the gas station in small town of Holt, Mo. and got addressed as ma'am again making me smile a lot. I've been trying to push along with the exercise and weight loss. I managed to put 388 mile on the bike since May 18 trying to hit 500 miles before my doctors appointment in August. I went to game night with nine girls from group and I got in free for ladies night. Racing has been going hot and heavy just finished a two night show with the national Midgets and non-wing sprints. I hope everyone has a spectacular week catch you all later.
July 5, 2017
I had an exceptionally awesome weekend. It started with the granddaughter giving me a note telling me she loves me 100 percent and will always remember me. Along with the note she gave me a little foam snowman with her name on it. Then she tried to pick me out a outfit to wear out to eat lol. The wife and I went out with the daughter and granddaughter was a fun evening. Saturday I had my race track duties. Track prep and flagging then watched a nice fireworks show. Sunday I got up early and went out on a 30 mile bike ride and in the evening I went to the Blue Crew Tailgate party before watching FCKC soccer game. Monday I got up and ventured out to the zoo had fun watching the apes as they were really fun to watch. It's really fun to go often cause you see things you won't see in one visit. Monday evening went to the drive-in for the first time in probably 30 years. I met up with a group of friends and my best friend watched Transformers and Wonder Woman. I did realize early in the morning that I was way tired as Wonder Woman didn't start till after Midnight but It was fun. Tuesday woke up to a rainy day decided it was the perfect time to lace up the Ice skates and do a little skating first time since January. Hour and a half no falls some sloppy jumps and some great saves. Tuesday evening went out with my friend had dinner then watched fireworks. On the way to get dinner stopped off to get gas and the attendant called me sweetie(smile) made my night. the previous week I had fun at another game night with girls from group night and learned how to play a few new games. I been out on the bike a bit lately and have ridden over 330 mile since I got the bike. Really wanting to get to 500 mile before my next doctors visit in August just setting personal goals. I am still really worried about the current administration policies and staff that is currently in place. Really irritated with congresswoman Vickie Hartzler for her remarks calling transgender people ISIS. I believe this is a big slap in the face to my brothers and sisters who have served or are currently serving in our military defending our country. I can say I've never killed anyone or even had a notion of doing any such act. I believe this is very disrespectful as an American that has worked hard paid taxes and tried to live a life respecting others. It's a shame that she feels the need to be disrespectful to all the fine upstanding transgender citizens of the state of Missouri. Oh well guess its time to call it a night.
I had another fun day out at the zoo yesterday the weather was absolutely awesome. Love watching how active the animals are on days when the weather is cooler. I had a great time talking with several of the staff that all treat me exceptionally nice. From the front gate all the way to the back of the zoo. I then went shopping and picked up a new dress, tights, and some tools. I then changed the look of the home page a bit for something with a little more color. In the evening I went with the wife and friend out to dinner had a great night eating on the patio.
Watering the garden is becoming a daily project as the warmth of early summer sets in. I've been riding my bike fairly hard trying to get back in good shape for riding. The weight loss is still happening slowly because I've been to a few too many buffets lately. I have been working some more on the house trying to finish up some odd and ends projects. I had the pleasure of going out to game night with a group of friends and got in free for ladies night. We played a couple new games and a couple that we played previously. So much fun we ended up staying up way to late again. I went to group the other night really love being part of the group that helps each other. We seem to gain a few new people each time and this is totally awesome that we continue to grow. I went over to dads house for fathers day with my wife and visited for a bit. Then we went out and had dinner with my daughter her fiancée and the granddaughter. I've been a little concerned lately because I feel that there has been very little conversation with my parents about my transition since I came out. I asked in group the other night about how to approach the subject and it was mentioned to maybe ask questions. I then had a nice conversation with my older sister and daughter the following night and made a decision to go over and ask my parents if they had concerns or questions. We had some discussion hopefully something to grow on I will share when I'm ready. I accidently kind of mentioned to one of my bosses that I was on hormones. I believe he could care less truthfully. Still many positives this week along with a couple negatives as I would rate it as an awesome week in general.
I did go to my mom's house the weekend after mothers day and give her a card, and yes I did sign the card Kimberly. I wore a pretty dress over with petticoats. I guess all went well we visited for a bit and then me and the wife went out to eat. I still want to talk at some point and hopefully get more open with my mom on my gender. Although mom and dad are aware there really has been very little discussion or questions regarding my transition. I've been very busy painting the house and trying to fix a few things up. Racing is still up and running in full swing. I've been riding my bike over 174 mile already not quite a month. Set myself a 4th place on a 31 mile ride along with 16 other achievements on June 11. I had previously set 7 place on the south bound little blue trace and was hoping to get closer to the record but heavy wind gusts were like I was dragging a parachute. I was able to bump myself up to 6th place and so I'll have to go back and try again. I've really been enjoying being back on the bike again after several years. Because of all the work out on the bike and walking I have managed to loose a little more weight. Extremely excited about being more fit feeling better. My garden is growing like crazy hopefully tomatoes and cucumbers soon. Fathers day is coming up this weekend will again go by mom and dads house. I do immensely love my parents for all they've done for me since my birth. I had a thing happen the other day when I arrived home there was a note written by my 6 year old granddaughter. The note after much deciphering read I'm sorry for coloring on the wall I tried to get it off. After a bit as I sitting on the throne I looked over and she had painted with black finger nail polish on the white door. So the next time she was over I asked what the note said and she just covered her head like she didn't know what I was talking about. Must love grandkids. Group has been awesome with a large number attending. I also have enjoyed going to game night with the girls of the group. I did get to attend pridekc on Sunday although the weather was miserable the first hour I enjoyed seeing and participating with great open minded people. It would've been more fun without rain. I've been getting more open about who I am shared a few times in the last couple of days about the hormones. Getting braver with just flat out sharing. Hope everyone has a great week.
Oh my where the last ten days gone. Enjoyed game night out with girls from the group. We have been going out to a place and playing board games. Secret Hitler, Domain, and Joking Hazard plus a few others. The nights have turned out to be tremendous amount of fun hanging out with each other. Garden is still growing will be putting the cages in sometime this week. I went to a presentation on STEM in the work place put on by Una and Ari explaining transitioning at work statistics. Very interesting hearing her story along with some things I could expect when I fully come out at work. Speaking of work what can I say except extremely busy, and that is not really helping with rest. We had our largest group at group night followed by another great evening at the Sushi restaurant. I bought me a new girls bike the other night and went out and rode for 14 Miles tonight before mowing the yard. I've been a little lax on exercising as of late cause of the late nights out running around, but the weight loss is still going well. I did have a small issue this week when I realized mothers day was here when I needed to figure out whether or not to go to moms house dressed up, and then I realized that I also must choose how to sign her card. After much thought I decided to sign as Kimberly and go over dressed up and with this all weighing on my mind only to find out my mom went out of town to visit family and so I will go over this weekend. I must say I'm still a little nervous about this but plan on following through being my true self. Well till the next report everyone stay safe and have a great week.
This was another busy frantic weekend filled with fun and adventure. I had a group night meeting on Tuesday night followed with a great time out eating at the sushi restaurant staying out way to late. Wednesday night I had my nails done darker pink with black and white polka dots. Thursday after work went and mowed the lake lot then the house so this would be out of the way for the weekend. Friday after the fulltime job flagged the midgets at the race track until very late. Saturday back to the track for track prep and flagging stocks and mods. Sunday visited the zoo took some more cool photos then I went to the lakeside nature center and looked around. I then ventured out onto the fox hollow trail 2.1 mile if you don't get lost and loose the trail but just made for extra time out hiking trail completed. I then went to a tailgate party Out At Swope with the HRC campaign, Blue Crew, Anti violence Group enjoyed some good food and music made some new friends. Then went in and watch women's soccer FCKC. It was the first time I've watched a live pro soccer game. so yet another fun weekend comes to a close.
Thanks for being patient waiting for my update been extremely busy. I received my blood work test results and everything is great on the hormones are working. I've since lost some more weight down 30lbs. working out and trying to quit eating excessive amounts. I finally gained the courage to tell my parents the truth about who I am and where I'm probably going with my life. I know they still love me and we'll see how things progress in the future. Likewise I love my family very much and I did go over to be sure my daughter understood where I was at and am going with my life as a transgender woman. It's my hope to be able to grow closer with my parents as we are all getting older. The stress of having this secret for the last forty years of my life is now gone. Although there is still more work to be done in being my true self I know what true happiness is. While this doesn't take care of my worries for the future I believe in my growth and acceptance of my true self. I feel like I've been glowing now for the last few weeks. I really do want to say thanks to the girls in my trans group for there support and encouragement they'll never know the total impact they've had on my life. Aside from our group meetings we have been going out on our off meeting weeks and playing board games. I attended a PROMO meeting in KC to hear about the progress and the goals of there organization in hopes of trying to help in some ways by being myself. I enjoyed watching Caitlyn on 20/20 the other night as I can totally relate to most of what she said, and it's my hope that as she grows she'll learn from some of her mistakes in much the same way I continue to learn. Caitlyn did say something that really made me get emotional when she was talking about putting in her will to be buried a woman as I can totally relate. I've mentioned this to my wife way back before I started in moving myself out of the closet. Racing is back in full swing and I still enjoy flagging the races very much. I managed to get some tomato, cucumber, and pepper plants planted in the garden. I would be leaving my wife out if I didn't mention the overwhelming support I get from her thanks babe I love you. I also have ventured out to hiking trail and to the zoo in the last couple weeks looking forward to more adventures soon. I would also like to mention watching Garth on studio G has inspired me hearing his heartfelt feelings about We Shall Be Free and loving one another, and with that please continue to love one another.
Coming soon an interesting update about my progress. Will hopefully update soon! I need to get to bed long weekend Racing, mowing, building a shelf for the bathroom light, more mowing.
Once again It seems like forever since the last update! I've had to work a little on my truck a couple times in the last couple weeks. I've also been working on the bleachers at the race track trying to get ready for opening day. Just for some extra fun I've attended a few hockey games Go Mavs and a few concerts with local renfest bands. I went today for a check up with my hormone doctor and although I'm waiting for a bloodwork results my blood pressure and my weight were both down. Yeah go me with the working out down 23 Lbs. since December when I started the hormones. Everything seems to be going ok with my treatment positive things are happening super excited. While my health is doing great the worries about the current administrations actions is still a big concern although at this time I will never go back to where I was in the closet. I'm out and proud of who I am so unless they start hurting me I'll never turn back. I finally got the opportunity to work in my yard after the appointment. Happiness is being me outside the house enjoying as much life as I can take in. I must still continue to learn to deal with the fears I have pertaining to bathrooms as my main concern is getting in trouble with the law. I've never had any real trouble with the law and never want any, but with everyone of the laws in states, cities, counties, and federal government all enjoying different support and lack of support the laws and rules are very confusing. Thanks to all who are supporting the trans issue fighting for a general right that I should be entitled too since I've not broken any laws attacking anyone in a bathroom. I'm in hopes that someday the world will be tolerant of each other. Garths song #We Shall Be Free is the goal hopefully someday will be attained. I'd like to stress the fact that Trans people are not wanting to attack people in the bathroom we just need to pee once and a while. Well should probably go do my work out more weight to loose.
What a few weeks it has been since my last report. The president has taken the opportunity to pull the provision that allow students to use the bathroom matching there gender. While I realize the views on being transgender is a personal choice and that each individual must make a position of stance on where they stand on the issue. I'm continually baffled by the fact there have been very few if any attempts on the supposed issue of improper antics in the bathroom. Realizing that each person has a choice to do right or wrong behavior in the bathroom as is any other crime choice commitment. I've always preferred to obey the laws as much as possible to avoid getting in trouble in everything I do. However the fact I'm transgender doesn't make me the predator that some people like to claim. Happiness of living my life as best I can to provide for my family and to enjoy my friends is the only way I'm going to live my life. If people choose to leave my life cause of who I am may they be blessed and enjoy there life as they choose.
I've had many great times in the last couple of weeks hanging around with many different people in my life at many different events Car Show which for the first time I got to drive the sprint car down Broadway leaving the show up on the trailer. I helped remove some of the bleacher boards in preparation for replacement. I helped my friends move. I had to work on my truck. I attended a couple of hockey games. I went to a couple of concerts where some friends played some great music. I've had a great time with trans group girls at our meeting and dinner following. Oh yeah for the first time in roughly 30 years I went to a doctors appointment for a check up which went great. I'm still taking the hormones and seeing a little bit of differences in a few areas. Oh and with that being said I should get busy and go do my work out to help lose some more weight around 20 pounds since the first part of December.
I'm jumping in here with a short report. I been attending a couple of concerts at the local bars. I enjoyed the trans group meeting the other night it is helpful to discuss the problems and delights of being transgendered. I don't even begin to know where to go with current political state at the moment. I'm hoping that through all of the turmoil being sorted through we will eventually come out stronger with many more allies. I've made the decision to try and help gain allies by trying to be out and seen in the community in which I live. It's my hope that each of the people I meet along the way will help gain another ally to have on our side to make our fight a little easier. It seems to me a shame that we need to fight to have rights to be ourselves when most have never done anything to harm another person. Thinking about the issues of employment, housing, and healthcare which everyone deserves it seems ridiculous to have to fight for these rights. Just seems really crazy to have to argue to keep a job to pay bills, taxes and help society by buying items to help create jobs. Many of the transgendered people I've met on my life's journey are extremely talented in there perspective career and many quite a plus to the company in which they work. There's no reason for all the fear being placed out there by the christen society like were here to harm. Each person in life has different views and beliefs hopefully each person will concentrate on loving there neighbor remembering how short each one of has on this planet. Well I jump off the soap box a bit enjoy yourself and have a great day.
I just reached yet another year older in my life. I had the chance to go and enjoy a night out with some trans sisters at hamburger marys playing a little dirty bingo. Then I had the opportunity to go out to dinner with the wife, mom, daughter, daughters boyfriend and a niece and her family. I wore a long purple dress with my long purple petticoat. This was the first time I wore a dress to a dinner that my family was invited too. I believe all went well nobody left. I also had the chance to go to a couple of friends going away party after which we all went out to the bar. To say the least it's been a lot of fun this weekend. I've been fighting finish getting rid of the plague that came back with a vengeance would love for it to get out of me completely soon I hope.
January 2, 2017
Hope everyone had a decent holiday. As we've entered into the new year I excited to continue my growth of being myself more freely after the many years trying to hide. I'm just about to finish my first month on hormones. I've noticed a little less hair growth on my body, dryer skin on my face, and slight breast growth. I've been working out since I started the hormones and have lost around 8 LBS. It's a great struggle some days to get down to doing the exercising but I have managed to be encouraged when I look at the scale. I figure that since the holidays are over it'll be easier to stay on track loosing weight. I'm trying to stay positive about the upcoming presidential switch and the effects that we'll see in the next four years. Hopefully the administration won't destroy all the positives from last year. My laser treatments are oing well and I'm excited to be going in for the next one Thursday. On the fun note I had the opportunity to take my 6year old granddaughter ice skating for her first time. It was fun watching her learn from falling down to getting up she did improve. I had the chance to visit the zoo which let me get outside since I have spent the previous few weeks fighting the plague cold.
Merry Christmas to all
I think the end of the plague that I've had for the previous few weeks is nearing an end. I'm working on plans for the future as uncertain as they remain how far I will go in being myself. I don't feel a big need to rush as my continued growth has been a work in progress since I was a young person. The growth I felt this year is beyond my dreams of many years. Thanks to my group friends and people in my life that have accepted me defiantly makes my journey easier. I still believe the hardest part of all this is dealing with loss of people in ones life. although if people don't accept you as you are there is no real reason for them to remain in your life. It's a great hope of mine to sometime in the future transgender people will be able to live without the discrimination. I've many new transgender friends this year all who seem to have the goal of living quality life, and I've not seen anyone with perverted intentions that the media seems to believe we all are. I can't speak for everyone that is transgender but doing ill things to women or children is not the goal of anyone I know and therefore makes the panic put on by religious groups and the media completely false. Please try to give all transgender people the same opportunity that all others have the respect of being a good citizen.
If anyone would like this cold that's plagued me the last couple weeks I'm giving it away. I did get to go and see the doctor about hormones and did my bloodwork and I started hormones today. Finally got around to putting up the Christmas lights and tree. I've been attending a transgender group meeting every couple weeks as I continue to grow and learn its nice to have some community that understands. It's been great to explore different issues in the trans world. We seem to have a core group and a few newbies each and every time which I think is awesome. Looking forward to enjoying the granddaughter this Christmas it's fun watching her grow up. Here to hoping this cold leaves and I can back to bouncing around.
I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving, and now to get ready for Christmas. I'm getting ready to see the doctor this upcoming week to see about hormones as my journey continues. While I'm a little nervous about the upcoming appointment my excitement continues to grow that soon I'll start hormones. I've had the opportunity to go out some to several different places and it sure is fun to get nice compliments from people about my outfits it makes me smile. I really glad the election is over although a little scared about what the future holds I have no intent on hiding and will continue to push forward. I strongly encourage everyone to continue pushing forward with there happiness. although I know there will be battles in the future I want to continue to pursue my dreams of being myself. I went out shopping at the local goodwill outlet and scored some nice stuff cheap.
Whew can't believe the month is already flown by since I last reported in on my recent adventures. The renfest came to an end as usual it was fun. I met many new faces and enjoyed visiting with many old friends. I've continued to attend the trans group meetings and continue to grow and gain knowledge and insight. I finally did go have a counseling session with the counseler and to know real surprise was officially diagnosed with gender dysphoria. I did get a number of a doctor for general medical as its been 30 years since I've really gone to the doctor. I think its time to at least get a doctor I prefer before I have a real need for one. I was also given the number of a hormone doctor and yes that means that soon I should start hormones hopefully. I did manage to get the MD appointment scheduled and need to get the hormone scheduled. I feeling really excited about how things are going in my life. I had the opportunity to take the granddaughter out a couple time over Halloween which was mostly fun. I also attended a Halloween gala at Monkey Wrench clothing store and even won a couple prizes in the raffle. I attended a haunted garage party at a friends house enjoying Halloween night. Just celebrated my 18 anniversary of marriage on Halloween to my loving wife. We did have a discussion concerning the hormones and she is supportive. I been out to the zoo numerous times in the last month. Racing has ended for the season now prepping for next year. Finally today I went down and skated at the ice terrace opening and I was the first on the ice great day skating.
My opportunities in life continue to grow each day with more possibilities. I've had the chance to be Kimberly a little more each year as I push myself further in my acceptance of who I am. It has been fairly reassuring to have some support from some friends and family in my life. I feel like everyday is a chance to grow and educate others that come into my life. I personally have always struggled with being out and open to the world. I'm learning to better understand myself which is helping me be a better advocate for my transgender friends that are still coming out. I've always been kind of low keyed hiding in my own world type person and would like to bring myself a little more forward. I'm still struggling a little with completely being a hundred percent out to the world but I creep a little closer each day. I have taken advantage of many opportunities to be Kimberly out in public. I intend to keep pushing forward trying to become who I choose to be in my life. I still worry about the fear of loosing love ones in my life but ultimately I must live my life. I don't want to loose people in my life as I have a love for every person that has touched my life. Unfortunately explaining exactly where my life adventures will lead me is really a mystery. Sometimes trying to figure out the transgender thing is a little disturbing cause of the uncertainty of what it really means.
It's taking me a little bit to get back on here because of my busy schedule lately. I switched to a different operating system and have been trying to work through a couple of different bug problems. Therefore this created problems and mixed up my computer and time has been a little bit wrapped up trying to solve those issues. On to the fun stuff renfest is back open as always I'm enjoying many good times with my friends at the fair. I didn't get a chance to create a new fairy outfit for this year but maybe next year. I have taken my previous fairy outfits and mixed them up a little bit so it's almost like having new ones. I had some lady come up to me as I was leaving the fair one day asking for hug cause she thought I was awesome made my night. I really enjoy getting to watch the shows at various stages and visit with people. This is around my 10 or 12 year going on a regular basis to the fair it's been amazing to here people calling my name to say hi. I look forward to the next 4 weekends of the renfest. I got the opportunity to attend santi cali gon day up on the Independence square enjoyed watching the free concerts. I wore my blue dress with my silver and blue petticoats underneath as always enjoyed being out. I've had the opportunity to attend a couple more trans group meetings. I believe this is helping me realize some of my issues along with a little further education and the great chance to engage with others that have been dealing transgender issues. I can't forget to mention the other night after fair my buddy and me went out and had dinner. In between order and the food arriving my buddy got up to answer a call as is was a little noisy inside he stepped outside and a guy came over from the bar and asked me about my outfit. I told the guy I had been out to renfest dressed as a fairy and then he informed me he had just won a bet. A little bit later he ordered a round for the bar and brought me and my buddy a drink also. That was pretty neat to say the least and I made sure to stop and say thanks on my way out. The garden is still producing a few tomatoes but the rest is history.
As we approach the end of yet another month in the 2016 rat race I have had some interesting interaction. I was recently asked at a transgender group meeting if I consider myself a cross-dresser or transgender. I answered Transgender as this is how I feel about the topic. Although for many of years I really tried to identify as a cross-dresser to somewhat hide who I am and seem less committed to being transgender. Part of growing older and wiser is to admit to oneself about who you truly are. A few years ago when a friend died I realized that are time here on earth is limited and in any number of days life can be over. My biggest fears to date has been loosing friends and family over being transgender. I've Excepted the fact that although I may loose someone, and being myself out and open is what I should strive for in the future. I will always be myself regardless of how I'm dressed or presenting. I will always be willing to help family and friends with projects and needs if I can. Being Transgender is not really changing the person within as much as allowing the person I am within to grow outward and become even stronger. Many will probably question why all the sudden has this new aspect of me appeared but believe it or not I have fought with the transgender issue for many of years. This revelation will probably help explain some of the hidden part of my life. I encourage anyone that wants to ask questions to please ask as this will help me become stronger and learn more about myself and others. With all of this being said some may wonder where is this going to lead me to in the future. I can't say for sure what the future will bring as I continue to grow daily. I've got thoughts about different aspects of being transgender and what this really means. I would encourage anyone who is reading this and questioning where this all started to go back and read through my bio, Q &A, and Transgender Info as some of this will help put somethings into perspective. Although I'm still a bit scared about many things. In looking to the future I feel very excited and ready to grow even more. I'm hoping that as I grow in the future my friends and family will grow with me. While I very scared to directly address the topic of transgender I'm going to make much better effort to push myself continue on with my life's journey.
It's been a bit since I checked in here. I been running pretty hard doing some more concrete and landscaping around the house plus a little gardening. I did get to attend a meeting on transgender informational meeting about the bible and some misconceptions. It was a great informative meeting wish my memory was good. Thankfully we received a handout which I will have to go back and look through. I also got a chance to attend a transgender group meeting and I learned a little and made some new friends. I'm looking forward to going to more meetings in the future. I've had the chance to go to a couple concerts at the bars that some friends from the renfest put on. Racing has been going fairly good still part of what I really enjoy. I been getting out and visiting the zoo, restaurants, and doing some shopping. I'm still not sure where the political circus is going with all the transgender issues. I have noticed that more people watch me when I'm in the stores, but I've not had any problems. Most of the time when I'm out I'll receive a couple of compliments on my outfit which always makes me feel good.
It's been an extremely busy couple of weeks as I decided to get the concrete patio poured after a couple yards of concrete the patio looks good. I also put a layer of red pavers around the outside and added a load of pretty rock to dress it up. I did manage to enjoy the forth of July with my wife, daughter, daughters boyfriend, and granddaughter. We went out had a nice dinner then went and watched a nice fireworks display. I went out and visited the zoo again had a nice time. I never had seen the rhino pursing his lips it was funny to realize how small there mouth is. While I was watching the baby gorilla play I had some nice lady that came back after she had walked off to tell me she liked my outfit made me happy. I'm still very unsure about how to take all the political issues regarding the transgender issues. Hopefully all this silly nonsense will settle down a little after the election.
I had the opportunity to go do some shopping as usual wearing a the cute plaid skirt with the pink petticoat underneath along with a cute black top. I really didn't notice anyone paying any extra attention to me. However did have a nice conversation about my nails and shoes with the cashier. After shopping had time to eat at the pizza buffet. I'm glad to notice that at least some cities are addressing the transgender issue and hoping it'll lead to more cities expanding on the gender rights. This is hopefully the start of better things to come for the trans community. My wife and granddaughter gave me some nice fathers day gifts, women's clothing. The granddaughter also made sure to get me a patriotic tutu. The pleasure of being grandpa are certainly one of the greatest life treasures.
I spent some time out being myself in my pretty dresses at the zoo, shopping, and few other places. While I've been out I would say everyone has been respectful like in the past. I have been a little more cautious because there seems to be a little bit of misunderstanding of the transgender community. Hopefully as time passes this will become a good thing with all the press coverage in the transgender community. Meanwhile the garden is planted and growing. I've had to try and stay out of the sun because of the laser hair removal starting to really notice a difference. Looking forward to no beard shadow in the near future. However refraining from being out in the sunlight is extremely hard. Racing is been pretty good so far this year. Some of the projects on the house are lagging behind cause of time and money. Looking forward to pouring new patio soon so I can spend more time outdoors.
I've seen transgender mentioned more in the news feeds in the last month than I've seen in my life. While I'd like to feel positive about the benefits of the coverage in some ways i'm concerned about rushing people or forcing them to jump on the wagon. Time has proven to allow more people to accept and maybe understand just a little about us. It seems really strange to me that the trans community isn't really out raising this great big ruckus. The turmoil seemed to really get fired up with the Target bathroom issue. I do agree that Transgender community deserves the protection like the rest of the people. Fairness in jobs,housing, healthcare, and other aspects of life. Myself I work pay my taxes and try to provide a healthy life for myself. I would by no standards consider myself a mental case or a threat to the community. Understanding why each person in the world has feeling for one thing or another is really hard to explain. I know most people will never completely understand the transgender community because explaining is extremely hard to put the correct words that will allow someone to understand. A good little test go ask someone why they want tattoos or why do they drink at party's there probably isn't a great answer. If people realized how many of us have struggled for years with the transgender side for fear of rejection it's not what I would classify as a picnic. How much simpler could life be if I didn't feel the need to be transgender. I enjoy who I am just like some people enjoy hunting, fishing, riding harley's, sports, and many other activities. I do enjoy putting on dresses,heels, make-up and being girly along with racing, sports, remodeling the house, gardening. So then why does this equate to a bad thing in some people eyes. It would seem more of a bad thing to be out killing, molesting, stealing, and outright hurting others. I realize some peoples feelings, egos, pride get hurt for fear of embarrassment. I would like to believe there hate is more fear based than real feelings. We don't rub off and make someone transgender.
Just got the nails done again so I thought I'd take a moment and say I'm excited and discouraged a little bit by all the recent talk regarding the many issues about the rights of transgender individuals. I'm a little scared by the negative comments below most articles that seem to imply that I should just get mental help. This seems crazy to me as I know with the exception of being transgender I lead a perfectly happy hard working life. You know most days I work on the house in the yard or one of the many other projects that need to be done after I work a real job taking care of myself and wife. I don't go out creating mischief hurting other people. I know that some people have minds that'll never understand we aren't all alike in this world. There is no great reward in having transgender issue in your life as you face a lot of problems that arise from the letting the cat out of the bag. I can say I enjoy myself and wish more people would seek there own happiness and let others get on with there lives. I'll probably never have the most exact words that'll change anyone opinions regarding trans issues. We all do have aright to be here in the states which I proudly pay my fair share of taxes and try to be a good neighbor. Understand we have many diverse cultures and religions which we'll never agree with each and everyone to perfect extent we are all different. Be happy enjoy yourself let others live and be themselves.
I've been reading a lot of the comments below the issues regarding the rights lgbt in North Carolina it's brought me to be concerned because the miss conception that were perverts with mental illness. Well I for one don't feel like mental illness has any thing to do with my transgender state. I've noticed depending on how each person perceives another, we all probably have some mental issue based on what another person believes. whether we are to religious, to many tattoos, where weird clothes, treat people rudely, workaholic, biker, gun enthusiast, spend our time on the internet trying to instigate a argument or many other combinations someone will see you as mental. Each of us has had to deal with some issue that would by another person be considered mental. How we react will bring out the true mental issues that everyone in the world faces. Being a different person doesn't make me a mental case. I like to try and treat people the way I wish to be treated not saying that i always succeed at being kind but then sometimes people do irritate me. Even in my irritated state I never had the urge to hurt anyone. I work, play, and enjoy life like most people that claim there the perfection of the world. So with that being said I believe I'm perfectly normal to enjoy my feminine side. Lets just say because I do enjoy my feminine side there is no need for anyone to be concerned that I would ever attack a child or lady in a bathroom or anywhere else. I would be predators worst nightmare if I was on a jury for someone committing these crimes of hurting people especially a child. I raised my daughter to be an open minded individual and she has become a great mother to her daughter I would never like to see either one hurt by some attacker. She has met some of my friends that are transgender without the fear of being attacked by someone that is a little different. Don't get me wrong I understand there are people straight, trans, gay, white, black, and all other combinations with bad intentions against children and women they'll go to any length to commit the crime they intend too. Don't rush to put everyone in the same category as these people. I get very irritated realizing the majority of lbgt people are great people with nothing but the best of intentions for our planet to be kicked to a curb because of the potential bad guy. Lets face it there are bad people with the worst intentions alive and living to do bad things to people, and they'll probably always be out in our world. In my years of being transgender and meeting many other transgender people from many various walks of life cops, firemen, pilots, church leaders, carpenters, mechanics, and essentially every profession out there I've never heard any of these people with the intentions of doing anything in the bathroom except taking care of business. In my group of friends it's always been stated take care of business properly get in and get out.
March 21, 2016
Well seems to me that the time is flying by faster. I can say that since my last report Hockey, preparing for the next race season, and enjoying time with friends. I must say 2015 brought Kimberly out at a new level as being myself. I'm no longer as worried about being discovered because if people haven't seen yet they will soon. I've run into my friends from Hockey to racing and have just learned to face my fears head on figuring I want to be myself. Kimberly has been hiding long enough and with great support of friends and family being myself is becoming increasingly easier. Although when out I tend to draw some attention especially with my love of petticoats this seems to draw extra attention. Going out to eat this year I went dressed up probably 90 some percent of time. I did do more shopping dressed up than in previous years. I have had three laser hair removal treatments on my face with the forth one just around the corner. There is a lot less facial hair than I had a year ago. Shaving is still a must but the amount of stubble gets lighter each treatment. Extremely excited for this to happen will make the face a little easier to pass. There is still 6 more treatments before I'm all done with the face. My mind is full of Ideas for new fairy outfits need to get busy and start if there is even a remote chance of making a new outfit.
November 4, 2015
It's seems to have been a minute since I took the time to write a little bit about the happening in my life and my take on other things going on. Summer has flown by and was in the midst of a beautiful fall season. Racing has been as always allot of fun and I continue to enjoy my work assisting at the track both as an official and a track grunt. Around the house a few projects have been completed while others still remain looking forward to getting more completed this fall and winter. I did finally get busy and finish sewing a new fairy outfit for renfest season which as always a great time. The new fairy outfit is all pink with a pair of new wings that I made. One of the neat things is all the people at fair informing me of their favorite fairy outfit. It's neat to hear people say this one or that one is my favorite. It's a joyful time when I get to parade around the festival grounds chatting with friends occasionally stopping to take pictures with complete strangers. It's really cool when I get asked for a picture by a person who has taken pictures with me in previous years. Now I must start on a new fairy outfit hoping to get done for 2016 renfest season. The last year being out as often I can has brought me to a new level of myself. Since going to hockey games, zoo, renfest, shopping, and out to eat dressed up and being involved at the track I'm recognized by allot of people. It's really strange to go somewhere and have people start talking to me about hockey, racing, the zoo, renfest. I guess since wearing petticoats most of the time I'm easily recognized. I continue to want to grow into who I am. I can honestly say the only thing I wish would change is to hit the lottery so I could even enjoy more adventures. As we all know we must go to work which certainly spoils the party. I finally started and had my first laser hair removal treatment on my face and I'm looking forward to shaving less. I give you more details later on in my treatment. That’s enough rambling for now will write some more soon.
May 1, 2015
seems like yesterday when I last wrote in here, but looking at the date I would say I've been a slacker with the updates. Now that Hockey is over Race season is here hooray. The yard work has been pretty intense trying again to rebuild some things and fix others. Just seems like I'm in need of some extra time to complete something. Although I've been staying busy, that doesn’t mean that Kimberly's been hiding, and just who would do the yard work. I've had some nice encounters this year at the hockey games, home depot, restaurants, and just about any place I want to go. Anyway watched the 20/20 special on Bruce Jenner and can say he sounded just like most of the transgendered people including myself that I've met. Each and every one of us has different little turns and curves in our lives that have persuaded or discouraged us from being who we really are. I take great comfort in knowing that the world is slowly started to finally do a little looking into the transgendered world. However it does scare me a little that so many people try to hurt or kill themselves, because of their transgendered feelings. I would especially like to encourage anyone who is feeling the need to end their life to seek out some professional help. Please, we as a group need all of our sisters to help the world become a better place. It disgusts me greatly that people feel the need to try and kick someone down for being a little different. In our world I realize that most of the media coverage comes about when a cross dresser or transgendered person robs a bank or kills someone the reports come out it's a man in a dress. I wear dress and skirts quite a bit living my life, and I have no intent on getting in trouble just want to enjoy who I am. I work very hard on the job, at home, on weekends to provide for my family. This is not just some perversion thing that I'm living it's my life and I want nothing more than to have the peace and happiness that everyone in the world should seek. I understand for people who choose to be hateful this is just some perverted freak thing in your eyes, but remember transgendered people do have feelings. Just think about the fact transgendered people come from all walks of life living in your community and serving in your community. I've seen firemen, policemen, military, doctors, mayors, council members, church leaders, scout leaders, teachers, medical, and every other job you can think of. Does it really matter what we wear or have feeling of being inside of our bodies. Every one of us on this planet will only be here a very short time so please respect that and try loving each other cause we all are different. Being transgendered doesn’t make me a creep, a freak, or a bad person all I want is enjoy my family and friends. With that being said I would like to thank the people who have been so gracious to say hi, and make nice comments out in the world it's great support from family and friends that makes life’s ugly side so enjoyable.
February 17, 2015
Well it seems that time is slipping by in a hurry, and I'm trying to go in many different directions. So to start the year I've taken on many projects around the house wiring in the basement, painting, building a little cabinet closet, working on the closet up stairs, removing wallpaper, and a few other odds and ends. With the many projects around the house have been a few shopping trips to the hardware stores and may I say that you do get a few looks when your strolling through wearing petticoats. One of my outings a attendant asked for a picture then proceeded to tell my about a relative who got outed by his ex. She said that he was still a little in denial about his cross-dressing and carried on a little conversation. I'm dressing up and still attending hockey games having a great time. Just being myself enjoying life looking forward to many more events to come
December 25, 2014
It seems that 2014 has flown by with very little down time and lots of adventures. I've been extremely busy working my job, home, and a few side jobs. On the good side the electrical in the basement nears completion, upstairs cabinet is coming along and many other little projects seem to be progressing. I can't really remember the last time that I went out to eat dress in jeans, as most of this year I’ve been going out dressed in skirts or dresses. I've even been to the hardware store several times dressed up kind of neat that while there a couple of ladies always ask to see my nails. Still going to hockey games dressed up even got asked by a couple people to take my picture. Renfest was as usual another great time as always. Seeing many friends from previous years is always great. Racing this year was fun as we had very few problems throughout the season. Another fun thing is visiting the zoo great time being outdoors enjoying the fresh air watching the many different animals taking lots of pictures. With all these adventures there has been very little negative from all the people I've been in contact with at the many events. It's really strange just about everywhere I go there is someone that knows me. People have been mostly polite and respectful sometimes even complimenting me on my outfit of the day. I can still say occasionally I'll find myself still a little afraid of being out, but then I think most places just want my money. Hoping that 2015 will bring more great adventure and growing inside me to be my complete self.
September 25, 2014
Just can't believe that since the last adventure the time has flown by. As I sit here working on the website it's hard to believe that another 2 months has gone by. I should be busy sewing on my new fairy outfit that has yet to be completed. My new outfit is probably 3/4 the way done, and there is only three weeks left of renfest. Well worst case scenario this outfit will have to wait till next year. I still intend on putting forth an effort to finish the new fairy. Racing season is quickly coming to a close and that should help free up a little time. Hopefully the grass will slow down on the growing and the garden is just about done. Kimberly has been going out a lot to dinner, zoo, and a little shopping. The venturing out seems to be less and less scary too me. Hard to believe how far I've come this year just being happy being myself. One night while out shopping I had some shoppers trying to get a quick picture without me knowing, but I seen them in action as now days I keep my head up no shame. The best part was while standing in line a lady came up behind me and told me that she was happy to see me being myself. She told me that she was originally from California and that Missouri could stand to open up a little. Next she told me she didn’t know if she would have the courage to get out like I was doing. It made my night hearing this from someone who I don't know. It's been extremely enjoyable to express myself more each day.
July 28, 2014
It's been yet another extremely busy month, between all the mowing, gardening, races, zoo visits, and just a few other activities time is flying by. I can say that being more open about my cross-dressing means the less need to hide therefore allowing more time out dressed up. I believe because I'm not hiding at home like I was several years ago this is allowing me more opportunities to explore different places. I've started walking my dogs around the block in the evening when time permits and yes I'm doing this dressed up. Learning to just look up and say hi when you see people seems to make it easier to walk around. The less I look scared to death the more people smile and say hello, and sometimes even comment on my outfit of choice. As you've probably learned by now dressing a little bit on the different side wearing petticoats and such probably does garner a little more attention when I walk by people. I must say the staffs out at the zoo sure all seem to remember me, and usually have a very pleasant attitude waving and saying hi. Some of the staff even said they've missed seeing me or haven't seen me in a while. Still trying to get a new costume done for renfest that is coming very quickly and I need to get very busy with the sewing machine. Busy times ahead looking forward to having more fun just being me.
JULY 8, 2014
It's been a short little spell since I've added to my blog section, but life has been extremely busy. This time of year means a lot of yard maintenance, racing, zoo visits, and just a combination of different activities. You should check out the updated pictures in photos, swimsuits, and petticoats. I've made several trips to the zoo and had a fantastic time walking around all dressed up. The staff at the zoo has always been very friendly and they do frequently say hello and make some small talk. It's great fun taking pictures of the animals and myself. I’m Learning a little more about the animals as time progresses. Some of the critters are very interesting to sit and play with making noises and jesters to see them respond. Another fun thing is getting to fool around maintaining the yard. I think in the year living in my current residence I've never mowed in anything but a skirt or dress. Likewise I've spent some time at the lake lot mowing trimming trees being the girl I like to be. Imagine if you will a guy in a pink petticoat with a black skirt going into the hardware store to buy a new chainsaw. Think the store employees had something to talk about. Going out to eat, gas station, shopping is getting to be pretty easy compared to several years ago. I’m looking forward to learning and growing more each trip out in the public eye.
May 21, 2014
it’s been a nice start to the month of may as I was able to take the granddaughter out to the zoo. We had a good time playing and looking at the animals. She was very happy to feed the sheep, goats, and deer. She doesn't seem afraid at all of the many animals we seen and she is really starting to learn who the animals are. I must say Grandma and Grandpa were tired from the playing and walking. I’m Looking forward to attending with again soon. You'll see by the pictures that I was dressed to blend in. I had a few people compliment me on my pretty dress. I had such fun walking around enjoying the fresh air that I made a second trip later in the week. It's kind of neat that many of the staff there recognize me and will say haven't seen you in a while. I Planted the garden now if I can keep the rabbits from eating my plants hopefully soon will have veggies. On another note went to dinner with the wife and friend the other night and the fuel pump went out so I got to push her car while dressed up and hang around the gas station while she went back to get my truck. Oh and yes I didn't hesitate to look under the hood, and tried switching the fuses before determining that the fuel pump must have quit. That might of been interesting to watch from the back.
May 1, 2014
Since the last update our hockey team finally lost out in the playoffs. I managed to attend all the games dressed up as Kimberly. I can add that I had a blast watching the team play while being myself. I recently attended the pirates ball here in kc had a grand time seeing a great bunch of friends from the ren fest. I visited the zoo as you can see by the photos in the photo section. The remodeling project is finally getting closer to completion and the garden is tilled ready for planting. What can I say now to get busy on the new fairy outfit. I got to enjoy Easter playing in the backyard with the granddaughter can she wear a grandpa out. We looked really cute in our dresses swinging and playing.
April 1, 2014
Well the regular hockey season is coming to an end, and now the playoffs. It's been extremely fun this season as I've yet to attend a game wearing pants. I've been to all the games I attended dressed up in some cute skirts and dresses. I had the opportunity last week to attend the skate with the team after a game, and with a lot of thought I finally decided on a nice big pink petticoat with a pretty multi colored dress. In case you're wondering they don't really make arena seats to accommodate petticoats and with a little work you just have to squeeze and push down the petticoat. Skating with team was as always a challenge cause the ice is extremely crowded. However I did manage to get a couple of small jumps in to let the skirt fly a little. This last weekend got to attend the whoolie with my wife it was good time to hear some good music and visit with many renfest friends. The remodel is about to the paint stage finally in the sewing room. I need to finish this remodel and get started on the new fairy outfit. Still busy trying to decide on what exactly what I want make. Enough of my rambling for now back to some other projects.
March 19, 2014
just seems impossible the way time is just gets away from me. The remodeling is moving along a little at a time, but I need to hurry up because it's time to start making a new fairy outfit for renfest. I've yet to attend a hockey game this season not dressed up as Kimberly. It's almost getting to the end of the hockey season and time for the racing season to start up. This will make it even more challenging to get the new outfit done. I've had some interesting conversations about cross-dressing with a few different people who weren’t scared of me. I still need to figure out someday exactly how to answer why. One of the questions asked of me was if you could snap your finger and be a complete girl would you. I wasn't quite sure if at this point I would, but back in high school I'd wasted no time at all in jumping for the snap. I would defiantly consider transformation if I just had to snap my finger. It would still be a tough choice. Although the last year has been one with great growth in my dual gender there are still times when I wish there wasn't a need to hide from anyone. Although I dress all the time I really love wearing my petticoats, with skirts and dresses. Really looking forward to the upcoming summer cause this winter really sucked being so cold and nasty.
February 6, 2014
Well The postings are still coming along slowly as I've been very busy. Just trying to get some of the remodeling chores done, while it's cold and nasty outside. So looking for spring ready and to be outside all dressed up and having a good time. I still have yet to attend a hockey game this year not dressed up. This is quite an amazing accomplishment from all the years being so afraid. To say the least it's been great fun to go out all dolled up in skirts and petticoats. I must say that heading out to the home improvement centers does get you some attention. There are still allot of fears that must be scaled past as I search for total happiness in who I am. I not going to ever look back at this and regret as the positives far out way any negatives. Anyway everyone enjoy your day.
January 22, 2014
It's been a bit since I've updated. I have been trying to get some remodeling done around the house. Trying to update some things and fix some others. Also Hockey season been in full swing, and that been great fun as I have yet to attend a game this not dressed up. I’m still venturing out to all the games at the arena or at the local watch spot for away games. Most of the people I know have treated me very nicely with little negative to report. It's not as scary as a year ago venturing out and that’s made this all the more fun. I’m still venturing out to dinner now and then not to afraid of going out. People seem like they mind there manors for the most part are respectful. I'm trying to decide on making a new fairy outfit for renfest this year and hopefully a little matching fairy outfit for my granddaughter. The granddaughter sure does enjoy playing around. She calls me Grandpa no matter how I'm dressed. Well enough chatter for now must get back to work on other projects.
January 5, 2014
It's time to get another year started. So to start the New Years Eve off went out to a hockey game after work. As I've done so far for all games this year I dressed up. There was a skate with the team after the game so I skated wearing a Mavs jersey and skirt with a couple of petticoats under them. After skating went out and had a bite to eat at Denny's to ring in the New Year. I've started this year right where Left off in 2013 Just enjoying being myself. Hopefully this year will be filled with many fun adventures as the past years and I expect nothing less.
December 16, 2013
Well Kimberly had a couple extra off days to kill so ventured out to the zoo again. I wore a big puffy petticoat out to the zoo received a couple of compliments on my outfit. Read an interesting article the other day about a guy who had polished toenails and the reason was for his daughter cause his wife had died of cancer. There were several hundreds of commits about what a great dad this guy is for allowing his daughter to do this and how much of a man this guy is. Just want to say just because someone polish their nails doesn't make them less of a man. Just because we all enjoy different things some its tattoos, bikes, sports, bar scene, or many other things. It seems a shame that we in society are so anxious to judge because we don't understand the reason people live and act the way they do. There are many differences and reasons which not everyone can explain or fully understand, and hopefully someday society will learn that most people just want a happy life in general. It's important that we'll try to look with an open mind cause each and every one of has something that to someone else seems odd.
December 8, 2013
Kimberly has attended several more hockey games and been out to eat. Some of the fears that used to creep up when I ventured out seem more and more like distant memory. Venturing out in past I used to search out gas stations with little people traffic as possible now I look for the busiest stations. While out at the Hockey game recently I was given a nice hand crochet scarfs in blue/orange the Mavs colors. I put up the Christmas lights getting ready for Christmas looking forward to my granddaughter coming by to see them. As a kid I threw a tantrum at grandpa’s house because the lights were up but not on cut me some slack I was very young. Amazing that each of are fascinated by small little things and being dressed up is just my thing.
November 29, 2013
Well just finished celebrating another thanksgiving, and so much to be thankful for this year. I've managed to become open and honest with myself and just about anyone who asks about Kimberly. Thanks in big part to my family and friends over the years that have been so supportive. I can say that mostly positive experiences from being out. I've been going to the hockey games dressed up not in jeans but cute little skirts with petticoats & wearing jerseys. Most people that I talk to still talk to me and even some that never have talked to me. Did have one gal come up to me concerned that some people were making fun of me, but I let her know they didn’t concern me as I had the choice in my outfit. One must remember to be different one will truly get noticed especially in a skirt with a petticoat. What most people don't realize have been cross-dressing for years just wearing jeans. I also have been out at the zoo, dinner, and ice skating and as I wear petticoats a lot people do notice when you walk around.
NOV 21, 2013
In 2012 I had a year filled with fun and adventures from shopping to just going out to the park. Well didn't take long for Kimberly to make her 2013 appearance as I rang in the New Year out at a local restaurant. I then decided New Year’s Day to go out and do some ice skating. After skating I decided to do a little shopping. Well I marched in the Kansas City St. Patrick ’s Day parade with race track wearing my green/white checkered dress. What fun times playing around as Kimberly, just finished shoveling the driveway again. I've been out to the zoo a few times this year along with a few restaurants and some shopping. It seems like it's getting easier to be out and about just being me. We just moved to a new house and one of the first things I did was mow the yard in a skirt dressed up. I figured might as well break the neighbors in so no hiding. So far all seems well with the move even managed to accomplish the move without breaking a nail. Keep a watch out for more adventures and pictures as time permits. Well it's been fun last couple of months been out and about to concerts, parties, renfest, zoo, shopping, and to eat. I had the privilege of dancing with the king at pub sing, buying a new beautiful dress, playing around as a fairy at renfest. Just flagged the races dressed as a fairy bet there never been another fairy flagging a race before. Hopefully someone will post a picture somewhere I can grab it.
November 1, 2013
Just finished another fun filled day out. I started skating at 6:00 A.M. wearing my new short hand painted dress with two petticoats underneath. I did an interview with a local tv station don't know if they used it or not. On another station that was there covering the opening the news guy had a moment when he seen me skate by and noticed that I was a guy. He asked the reporter is that a dude. It would've been more politically correct to say dudet lol. After three hours of skating I then went to the zoo walked around for about three hours then went had lunch. In the evening I went to the bowling alley and watched the hockey game sitting around with friends eating and having fun. I got some nice compliments on my dress.